Red Silver

S2.C11 - Putting the pieces back together (Break)

The first days were the hardest. Lewis and Isabelle went back to Monaco on Monday, despite some cramps she was already feeling good physically.
"I can make you a tea, a hot chocolate..." Lewis asked sitting next to her on the sofa, he looked at her in the oversized hoodie "And you should probably eat something"
"I am not hungry" she said keeping her eyes on the window, there was a storm coming over the sea, the weather reflects how I am feeling she thought.
"Isabelle..."
"Full name, eh?" she turned to him, his eyes were just as sad as hers "I am not hungry, Lewis"
"You have to eat" he insisted
"You should too"
"We eat together ok?" she nodded not looking at him.

"You haven't cried yet" Isabelle said looking at him
"I did, I just didn't do it in front of you, I am trying to be the strong part" Lewis thought at how much he cried the night before while she was asleep "You are too young for this"
"Too young? Now I am too young?"
"You know what I mean" his sad gaze was eloquent but her mind was already racing, she wasn't upset with him and they both knew it.
"I had always been too young in the last year, I was for everyone but never for you"
"Isabelle..."
"I was so happy... God we were so happy-" she heard her own voice cracking, the weight on her stomach getting heavy almost painful again.
"Isabelle" he pulled her closer for a hug, a tear running down his cheek "I should have protected you"
"You couldn't protect me from everything, we both knew it but we never thought about it"
"I am so sorry"
Isabelle looked at him, he is crying now, she realised that she had never seen him crying before, she had but not like that, not with that pain in his eyes "When I woke up you told me it wasn't my fault, now I want you to understand that it is not your fault either, never, never think it"
"If I gave up the position..."
"No. You were winning, doing everything perfectly, you couldn't have done it differently"
He looked at her, his hands stroking her hair smelling the vanilla scent of her shampoo "If everything was perfect why did we lose it all?"
"All" she repeated "But you are here"
"I am but our baby is not"

"But you are, you are" she sat straight "I loved our baby, I still love him, I'll love him forever even if I have never met him but I can't think about my life without you, I can't even imagine it. I could literally walk through hell if it means keeping you in my life. When I saw the fire, my whole world exploded, I couldn't think straight, it was just you, just you" she looked at him and let her thoughts coming out with no filters from her mouth "The feelings were so strong, the fear was too much, I don't even remember breathing while I was running, my brain was completely blacked out. And I am so damn scared by this, I knew I loved you but I never thought like this, never thought I could even feel like this and they idea of losing you, that you would give up on this complicated mess"

"That is how I feel since I met you" Lewis grabbed her hand "You put together the pieces, I was a broken vase, I have loved in my life but never like this. You consumed me, your love consumed me till all I needed was you, all I need is you. I feel like I could go to war for you and I am not joking" he smiled a little "Do you recall Jeddah? I remember the very first time I saw you. Your hair were all messy in a pony tail, your eyes were so green almost transparent, your red polo was sweaty. I was enchanted, you were perfect in every detail, I saw the engineers tag and thought I was dreaming, probably dehydrated. I felt like a 16 years old asking for your number and texting you that night and our first date in Australia, I remember thinking you wouldn't look like I saw in Jeddah and when you arrived I stopped breathing" she laid her head on his chest, recalling that time was making his heart racing "An angel, I always saw you like that and your passion, the way you looked at cars, the gaze you have while working. I thought I was being a fool, you probably had a boyfriend but I didn't want to lose you so I tried my best to be just friends but after that kiss, God my body was shaking, my head a mess, Angela was the only one who knew and she was not happy when I told her I kissed you and felt like that till the first time she saw us together then she understood. 'You found your angel' she told me and I think she was right"
"Lewis..."
"I also remember the first time you laughed, the first time you hugged me tight like you needed it, the first time I woke up next to you, the first time I touched you and I felt your kisses on my skin, the first time you wore the Mercedes team shirt and the smile on your face, God I promised myself I would have protect you from everything... I am sorry that I got you through all this but I never thought not even for a second to give up on you, it'll always be you"