Red Silver

S1.C16 - Wrong T-shirt (Singapore)

Someone knocks at the door.
"Yes?" I say opening it.
Lewis is standing there, he looks like he didn't sleep at all tonight, he is wearing a jumpsuit and he has sunglasses on his head, he probably used them to cover the dark circles under his eyes.
"Hi" he says softly.
"Hi Lewis"
"George called me, I wanted to..."
"You wanted to check the room?" I say sarcastically.
"No, what should I check?"
"I don't know, the bed, the shower or maybe your favourite place to do it, the dinner table"
"Still angry for that?"
"Still have a bruise on my back so yes" I say but I can't not smile.
"I'm still sorry for that" he smiles "and I'm really sorry for yesterday, I didn't let you explain yourself"
"Come in, the coffees are going to be cold" I say indicating the bag he is carrying, it's from my favourite café in Monaco.

We sit down and I start to explain what happened "This is as far as I remember. I didn't know he has these feelings for me and you know... I consider him as a brother"
"So it was him"
"He told me 'I love you' but the kiss... it was me, I was so confused, my mind kept saying me that if the guy in front of me says he loves me than it can't be Carlos, it must be you and... I don't know it's all confused"
He stays there, looking at his coffee.
"I believe you"
"You do?"
He looks at me with his big brown eyes "Yes, I do"
I take his hand "As I told you a million times before and as I'll tell you another millions, I love you, Lewis Hamilton"
He stands up and slowly comes near me, he doesn't say a word, he just bends over me and kisses my forehead, then he takes my face in his hands and kisses my lips gently.
"I love you"
I smile touching his hands still on my face, I stand up and hug him tight.

"Isabelle?"
"Yes" I answer with my face still pressed on his chest.
"If I ever talk to you like that again, you have the permission to punch me in the face"
"Deal" I say.
"Seriously"
"You scared me yesterday, not just your words, the way you grabbed my wrist"
"Did I hurt you?" He says worried and looks at my wrists
"I don't remember if it hurt but I can still see where you grabbed me"
"I'm so sorry, I didn't even remember I grabbed your wrists, oh my god"
"Lewis calm down"
"I'm so sorry, little star"
"I am the one who messed up, Lewis"
"I have no excuse anyway"
"As you said it won't happen again"

"Ready for Singapore?" Lewis asks me while we are boarding the plane
"I'm excited I've never been there, I'm so curious"
"You'd love it"
And that's true but going to Singapore means being back to work and going to work means seeing Carlos. We haven't talked since his birthday party. Me and Lewis after that talk are even closer, he told me he was scared of losing me and I tried my best to let him know he will never lose me.

Singapore is so hot. I sneak into Lewis driver room once or twice a day to take a shower and change my clothes. On Saturday, after FP3 I go into the shower so fast I don't even notice he is in.
"Excuse me?" He says laughing
"Oh shit" I start laughing
"I didn't expect this, nice surprise"
"I'm just here for a quick shower, I have like 5 minutes"
"That's a lot of time" he says kissing my neck
"Lewis..." but it's so relaxing after all of the work of these days that I just close my eyes and concentrate on his kisses on my neck and his hands on my body, this won't be just 5 minutes.

Wrong t-shirt. Fuck. I was late and I take his t-shirt and not mine and now I look stupid with a way too large T-shirt on.
"Hey"
"Georgie"
"Can I ask?" He says smiling while I try to fix my T-shirt to make it looks less big on me.
"No" I say laughing.
"So you two are ok, like back at the usual power couple"
"Power couple?" I laugh
"Driver-engineer is a dangerous love story"
"Not with our car"
"Unfortunately" he laughs
"It's really so obvious this is his shirt?"
"No... if you're blind"
"Ha ha ha, I'll run to the engineers' room, there are no cameras there. Bye Georgie"
"Bye Isabelle"

"Perché cazzo non funziona questa macchina?" [Why the hell this car is not working?]
"Uh calm down" laughs Bono.
"I'm exhausted, why is it not working? We are doing strategies but we all know this shitty box will just not work tomorrow even with perfect strategies"
"Positive mood I see"
"Sorry, I'm tired and it's hot and humid"
"It's ok" he smiles "we have got quali now, let's go see if a miracle happens"

P5 and P7, not bad but not what we wanted.
I walk back to the motorhome to have dinner before working again.

"Bella" I stop, I recognise the voice.
"Carlos"
"Hi" he says nervously.
"Hi"
"How are you? I haven't seen you from... that night"
"I'm fine, I..."
"I'm sorry, I should have waited for both of us to be sober"
"You should have"
"You and Lewis are ok? I have seen you two together lately"
"Yes, I explain to him the whole story and he understood"
"Good"
"Yes, I have to go now" I know we should talk better about what happened but I have no energy for this now.
"Oh, ok, ehm Bye" he says sadly.
"Bye"

The Grand Prix is late evening in Singapore, I love the lights of this track, night races are spectacular.
Not for Mercedes, not this time at least, a little incident ruins George's race from the beginning and by the end we just want to have the fastest lap to steal a point. Lewis goes wide and lost 3 positions with 10 laps to go, P6 for Lewis and P16 for George. Another disastrous race.

"Fuck" says Lewis getting off the car, he throws away the gloves and the balaclava "I fucked up today"
"It happens Lewis, the car was awful too"
"It's my fault" he says sadly "George?"
"P16"
"What?"
"That incident at the beginning with Lando cost him a lot"
He kisses me "Interviews and we can go away from here"

"Lewis, I'm not coming to Monaco"
"Why?" He looks at me.
"I want to go to Brackley, next up is Monza and I want to work on the car"
He smiles "alright, I'll come to the UK"
"No really, I'm ok, I just need to work"
"I'm coming with you, it's not a bad idea going to the factory"
I smile and lay my head on his shoulder, I stay like this until we arrive at the airport.

Finally we are back home, I haven't been here since the summer break, I love this house and with Lewis in it is even better.
"I'll prepare something to eat"
"Thank you Lewis, I'll do the laundry meanwhile"

Going upstairs I look at my cap collection and I feel sad. I always loved caps and Lewis knows it, he got me a beautiful corner in the house with all his caps since he started racing, in the collection there are just 3 outsiders, Niki's cap, Senna's original cap that Lewis bought a couple of years ago and a Ferrari cap.
The Ferrari cap is a 55 cap, with a little handwritten message in the front, Carlos gave it to me when I left the team.

-So sad to lose you in my team but you have a brilliant career in front of you. You'll do big things Bella.
Ti voglio bene [I love you, friendly not romantic way]
Carlos-
God, I really miss him, what a situation.