Y/n's pov.
as we move out of the room towards the dinning,he is the first one to pull the chair out for me so that i can sit down,he opens the refrigerator,i can see pancakes in my plate and his plate is in front of me,he pours the juice in the glass but i can see the nervousness and the fact that it seems like he wants to asks me many questions but stays quiet and sits while starting his breakfast and waits for my reaction with the food,i pick up the fork and eat it and the corners of my lips raises as soon as i eat cause they are hell delicious.
"Umm,they are the best Mr.chef"
JIMIN:"That's a lovely nickname."
i chuckle.
when we are done with the breakfast he picks up the plates and to the shelf,then i indicate him to sit down again.
"i know there are many things you want to ask me,i will keep telling you about me as the time passes as i said i will trust you"
he gives the same,no actually the most reassuring smile i have ever seen in my whole lifetime.
"you can start with one random question,everytime you will ask one,i will stay honest but remember if i will ask you one as well,you have to stay honest as well."
he hums in response and says,
"How are you?"
i look at him blankly and there is silence in between us because i don't have any idea how to response to this.
"i-i-a am good."
after that i bursted with everything i wanted to say i jave wondered about if someone asks me how am i?
"i-i am like have to be honest so it's just that i-i don't wanna live anymore,i wanna d-die probably but i will not,i will n-never cause i don't wanna be called as a LOSER ever,i want to spend my days at peace without any context or without anything,i just want to have a hobby as you said,i want to do all the things i have on my wishlist,but more than that i have to keep up with life but saying that i am good is the biggest betrayal i do to myself."
i said all this while catching again my breath.
he was so blank at the moment as if he wanted to disappear with me from this moment,his eyes said it all.
JIMIN: can i-i hug you? please?
i literally just wanted him with my chest right now so i nodded and he hugged me and staying in his embrace is more than anything,i can hear his fast heartbeat,he mustly can't take what i just said to him but i think his heartbeat can't pretend like he is pretending to be strong in front of me,after breaking the hug,he cups my face and says,
"you were never a LOSER and you will never be a loser as long as I AM HERE"
i never knew though that i will be like that in front of someone but,but he has something in himself,the spark that gets ahold of me and wants me to kneel down in front of him,my thoughts were pulled out when the phone on the table rang.
it was a text message from none other than my bestie.
Bestie<3: we will come back tomorrow,until then hold onto with your nasty boss.
i double tapped her text and giggled a little bit.
JIMIN:am i nasty?
Y/N: yeah,you shouldn't look into someone's phone?
JIMIN: i didn't,my eyes did.
he said it while removing the little tear from the side of my eye,when he touched the corner of my eye,i legit felt the rollercoster ride in my stomach.
JIMIN:you want to cry but you keep holding onto it,why would you do that?,it's not like i want you to cry but absorbing just like that everything makes you become more sick.
"Sometimes except your eyes everything cries,sometimes things just get stuck like that."
He was just so much close to me that i was scared that he will be able to hear my heartbeat,it was so much fast that i felt like i will pass out,his hot breaths passed through my bare face and gave me goosebumps,after i stopped answering his question he didn't said anything,there was complete silence,and all i was able to see was his face,his face has depth like ocean but eyes have empathy for me which somehow i hated,but he is so pretty,i don't know if i can use word "pretty" for his face or not but he is so pretty that i wanna kiss him right away,kiss him on every corner of his face,his eyes,lashes,forhead,and the beautiful lips.
To broke that silence and his empathy for me in his eyes i spit out the word first.
"Don't get sympathy for me,i don't need it,i kinda hate it."
JIMIN: i don't have it for you,don't worry and i know all you need is love not the sympathy.
"I don't need anything..."
while moving back i said
"you should go back now,that's enough."
JIMIN: You are just kicking me out ?
"ahh no i didn't meant like that,if you want you can stay."
JIMIN: i think i should leave actually,i will talk to you later but if anything happens,text me right away."
Just then he started moving out of the house,when he reached the door,he turned around and said,
"Don't take those medicines."
after that he left and went away in front of my eyes.
i went to the couch and picked up my phone for scrolling,it's been already 30 minutes when a notification popped up,there were also many messages from collegues about my health now as i passed out in front of them but i ignored those and opened the notification of that article.
it said,
"JIMIN'S EX-SECRETARY CLAIMS THAT HE PLAYED WITH HER FEELINGS,HE GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND THEN LEFT HER WITH MANY THREATS"
fuckkk,i said to myself and screamed in my head,not a minute passed and i started getting calls from every reporter.
(A/N:hi,i know i'm much lazy with this but will end this soon.)
