Teen Life Stories you should know about Growing Up

You need strength to love yourself before you love others.

Love isn't always easy, and it is even harder to love yourself when you're a girl. Body-shaming, slut-shaming, we do not need to mention how girls are so heavily criticised by the way we look and act. It is as if everything we do is observed by people. Have you ever stared into the mirror and ask questions like, "Why am I so fat?" or "Why do I look that unappealing?" Questions like these often are common questions girls come across with, and it is no coincidence that I am doing the same. Because it takes so much to destroy a boy, but it just takes so little to destroy a girl. Are boys living easier lives then? I have no idea, but all I know is girls don't.

It takes a lot of courage for girls to be vocal about themselves, about their feelings and their thoughts. Especially in the public arena. Because of how society is so accustomed to criticise girls based on their behaviours and looks, it does not seem surprising how girls are so reserved and reclusive of their feelings and thoughts. And guys on the other hand, do seem to have the privilege to shape their identity more fluidly and freely. Guys are often more confident and more assertive in their ways of doing things because society allows them. Most girls know how it feels like to be criticised or belittled but not all guys actually know how it feels. 

That is why as girls, even girls have to man up and be tough. Girls need to learn to protect themselves and love themselves before they actually go and love others around them. Because essentially, how are you going to love someone if you don't love yourself? Will the person still thinks you are worthy of his or her love? Perhaps people who have heroic complexes are going to like you, but what are you going to do about that? 

What comes as important for girls is, to know protecting yourself is your best defence in a relationship. I do not mean that you do not open up to people you like or love. What I mean is that, you know the appropriate ways of keeping yourself safe and guarded and at the same time love other people like how you want yourself to be loved. Love people around you with all your heart but at the same time give you and other people space. A relationship with too little or too much closeness will ultimately kill the relationship. A comfortable distance between people is what I call a sustainable relationship. Even when you are with the closest people like your family, you won't expect them to show up all the time and be around you all the time. What I mean is, no matter if they are your friends, your family or your partner, you all need room and space to grow. 

Another lesson, learn to love yourself before you learn to love others. Protecting yourself is your best defence in a relationship. And love the people around you with all your heart but at the same time give you and other people room and space to grow.