ACTIONS OVER WORDS | KAGEHINA

12.

How Am I Supposed To Make You Feel Okay?

"Hey! Kageyama!" Kageyama heard an oddly familiar voice call out his name. He halted in his tracks and turned towards the direction the voice was heard from. "Ah. Souta," he mumbled as the guy approached him. "Hinata's in your next class, right?" Souta asked. "Yeah," Kageyama answered briefly. "Could you perhaps return him this book I borrowed from him earlier?" Souta requested while handing him the book, "I've got to hurry to the chemistry lab, right now."

Kageyama accepted the book before he reluctantly spoke, "Sure." He had to agree; after all, he owed him for explaining the whole dramatic situation to him. Though Souta didn't mind and had done it unconditionally, still, Kageyama believed that he owes him. "Thanks, have a good day ahead," Souta said as he walked away, hurrying to the lab.

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Hinata was on his way to his next class, slouching as he walked. His eyes appeared to be puffy along with a red tint under them, thanks to all the weeping last night. Just as he trudged down the stairs, he heard his name get called out, "Hinata."
Of course, he recognized the voice - of course, he knew who it was, and so he ignored it and continued proceeding towards his destination. Kageyama was the last person he wanted to face that day.

"Hey! Hold on," Kageyama insisted, "At least listen to me first." But that didn't stop the redhead, instead, it increased his walking pace. "I don't wanna talk right now," Hinata responded. "I'm here to return your book," Kageyama informed but again, that couldn't bring Hinata to a halt nor did it slow down his speed. "I didn't lend you any book," Hinata reasoned. "It's from Souta!" Kageyama stated and finally, the redhead paused in his tracks.

"Oh," he uttered and turned around while painstakingly avoiding eye contact by maintaining to keep his head lowered. Kageyama handed him the book and the redhead silently accepted it. "Thanks," Hinata mumbled but Kageyama didn't respond as he was busy observing Hinata's condition at present, and the way he refrained himself from facing him.

"You look terrible," he remarked. Hinata widened his eyes slightly at that and thought: Fuck. He noticed. "I'll be leaving now," he murmured; he would have sprinted from there had Kageyama not grabbed his wrist and slammed him against the wall before he did so. He trapped the latter by, yet again, slamming, this time, his palm on the wall next to Hinata's head.

Hinata, quite frightened, didn't utter a word but stared at the taller in surprise. "Why haven't you been attending volleyball practices? What is it?" Kageyama questioned in a harsh tone, "And why do you look like that?"
Hinata didn't answer, he was too scared to speak. Not that he had an answer either. "What're you? Starving? Dehydrated? Sleep deprived?" Kageyama inquired, in a rough voice still. "No," Hinata answered in a feeble tone, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Kageyama scoffed, "Don't fuck with me."
"Stop it, please," Hinata pleaded in a shaky voice as he started tearing up - he's been pretty sensitive lately.
Watching the latter cover his mouth with his palm as he tried not to make a noise for he didn't want to create a scene but their commotion had already attracted a few curious onlookers, made Kageyama realize that he had taken it too far.

He removed his hand from the wall, and sighed to calm himself down. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." he was cut off by Hinata suddenly shooting him a death glare. "You've got no right to talk to me like that!" Grumbled Hinata, removing his hand from his mouth, "You've also got no idea what's going on with me so don't accuse me of shit!"

"Then tell me, damn it!" Kageyama spat back, "I'm fucking worried, alright?" And that sentence was enough to quieten Hinata and make him stand still.

"You don't have to," Spoke Hinata weakly, "You know the situation damn well, so you should know that. And anyway, we aren't friends anymore."
"You can't just decide that on your own," Kageyama reasoned. "I don't care. Please... now forget about me and my wellbeing, it's no longer your concern," stated Hinata and then, he walked away, wiping off his tears.

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TWO WEEKS LATER

After that conversation that day, Kageyama and Hinata didn't make any interactions, they'd avoid each other at all costs. The more the days passed, the more Hinata grew absent-minded and dull. For Kenji, it was next to impossible to figure out what the redhead was always lost thinking about. The two did go on dates but not as often for Hinata would mostly call it off.

Hinata always had his eyes on Kageyama - or more like, stole glances at him whenever he had the chance to. He'd usually perceive a monotonous expression on the taller's face. Kageyama looked so unbothered unlike him, he concluded.

But to be honest, Kageyama was mad. He had a fit of raging anger building up inside him gradually, day by day. He felt as though he was a disposable character in the redhead's life. But he didn't show it; one could say, he was good at masking emotions.

Meanwhile, Kenji had observed Hinata keeping an eye on Kageyama. And yes, it troubled him. Not that he didn't know that Hinata was reluctantly avoiding Kageyama for the sake of their relationship. He didn't want that. He somewhat felt guilty for restraining Hinata but at the same time, jealousy was taking over him once again.

"I'm throwing a party," Kenji whispered to Hinata while the professor continued lecturing, "And I'm inviting you."
"Sure, when?" Hinata asked. "This weekend," Kenji answered. "Who all are going to be there?" Hinata questioned further. "Souta and a few others," Kenji replied, "You know them, don't worry."
"Fine. I'll be there," Hinata accepted the invitation.

The reason behind throwing this party was to brighten up Hinata's mood. He was growing extremely frustrated the more he saw Hinata appear like a depressed loner - you know, it didn't fit Hinata's personality.
Kenji could just say to him that he didn't want him to avoid Kageyama any longer but his pride was not allowing him to do so. Plus, that wouldn't fix anything between the two as Kageyama was unwilling to forgive Hinata anyway.