ACTIONS OVER WORDS | KAGEHINA

18.

For You, I Would.

"It's called having self-esteem," Kageyama interfered, "Not being egocentric."

Hinata instantly turned his head to the side to see Kageyama standing beside him. "Stay out of it," Kenji spoke through gritted teeth. "Trust me I've tried. But I cannot anymore," Kageyama scoffed, "If you've got a problem with me, why don't you speak to me directly instead?"

Kageyama glared at the latter furiously, his gaze piercing through Kenji's soul. On the other hand, Kenji didn't budge either, he maintained his loathing expression as well.
In contrast to the two, Hinata appeared to be a bit nervous and unsettled with his head lowered. What's about to happen? Was his only thought. He strongly felt apprehensive about the situation.

"I've already warned you not to hurt Shoyo anymore, right?" Kageyama said with a scornful smirk while he wrapped one of his arms around Hinata's shoulders; in response, Hinata flinched slightly.
He did what?! Hinata thought and steeply turned his head towards Kageyama, staring at him with widened eyes. However, Kageyama didn't look back at him.

"What're you gonna do, huh?" Kenji asked. "Trust me, you don't wanna know," Kageyama mumbled, anger still lingering in his tone. "How about you stop causing a hindrance in our relationship?" Kenji folded his arms. "Me? A hindrance?" Kageyama scoffed, "I was never a problem until you made me one."

The two then silently glared at each other, fuming with anger. Hinata couldn't say anything, his apprehensive feeling didn't allow him to do so — he believed if he uttered a word, he might as well make the situation worse. Plus, he didn't know whose side to be on. Kageyama, obviously, right? But if he chose Kageyama, then Kenji might snap. And choosing to be on Kenji's side wasn't an option... He didn't wanna side up with him.

"Class is about to start, we should head back," Kageyama interrupted the silence when he felt Hinata tensing up, "Let's go." He dragged Hinata with him back into the lecture hall.
"You alright?" Kageyama asked in a dulcet tone as the two took a seat and Kenji followed them shortly after — still steamed up. "Mhm. Yeah," Hinata murmured, "Thanks."
Kageyama nodded in response and the professor began his lecture for that day.

Luckily, the professor had forgotten about the homework and fortunately enough, no one reminded him.

───── ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ─────

"Here," Kageyama said while offering Hinata a snack from the vending machine — it was recess now. "Thanks," Hinata responded with an appreciative grin. Kageyama didn't reply, he just sat down next to the redhead on the bench, and the two then soundlessly enjoyed their snacks.
"He was trying to guilt trip you," Kageyama spoke up. "Hmm?" Hinata didn't quite catch that. "He tried making you feel guilty," Kageyama clarified, "By playing the victim card."

"Oh... yeah, I guess he did."
"Were you seriously going to buy that?"
"Buy what?"
"Whatever the fuck he was saying, dumbass!"
"I don't know?! Maybe?"

"Tsk. You're too dumb for this shit," Kageyama groaned, "No wonder you keep falling in trouble."
"I know," Hinata mumbled, "I was gonna forgive him... again."
Kageyama looked at the shorter and perceived his painful expression.

He stopped sipping his milk and sighed wearily. He bent forward, placed one of his elbows on his thigh, and gripped his hair softly in frustration. "Can you not look like that?" Kageyama grumbled.

"Pardon?"
"Stop looking like the world's about to end."
"Huh?!"

Kageyama then swiftly sat up straight and locked his gaze with Hinata — his glare appeared to be filled with seriousness meanwhile Hinata's seemed surprised and confused.
"You couldn't make the right decision," Kageyama said sternly, changing the topic. Hinata slightly widened his eyes. He's disappointed. He thought. Is he gonna forsake me now?

His heart pounded against his chest at the thought. He couldn't be without Kageyama again. He couldn't go back to drowning in the ocean of severe guilt and loneliness.
But then again... he was unable to keep a mere promise, unable to fulfill a condition. How could he possibly consider himself to be capable of keeping Kageyama then?

"I... yeah, uhm..." Hinata stuttered, he didn't know what to say. His chin trembled slightly as he searched for the proper words to articulate his feeling while battling the negative thoughts — all in his head. Unfortunately, the way Kageyama's unsympathetic glare continued piercing through his soul disallowed him to do so. He failed to speak.

So he lowered his head and fidgeted with his fingers. Unable to resist his anxiety, he anxiously asked in a low tone, "Are you gonna get rid of me now?"
Kageyama finally grasped it — he finally grasped Hinata's feelings without the redhead having to say anything about it. All this time, he thought maybe Hinata was just ashamed of breaking the promise; but there was more to it — not only was he ashamed but also fearful of losing Kageyama now.

"No! No, no, no!" Kageyama exclaimed after a brief moment of remaining silent, "Don't get the wrong idea!"
Hinata slowly raised his head to look at the taller; tears were already forming in his eyes which showed signs of fright. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to come off like that," Kageyama spoke in an attempt to comfort the redhead.

Hinata rubbed his eyes in order to fix his filmy vision. He sniffed then questioned feebly, "So you won't leave?"
"Of course not, dumbass!" Kageyama reassured earning a smile of relief from the latter. "Thanks," Hinata mumbled. "That doesn't mean you're going to keep breaking the promise," Kageyama stated. "I won't break it again!" Hinata affirmed. "Oh yeah? Sure," Kageyama scoffed then looked away followed by Hinata doing the same.

Hinata then fell silent. I'll need to make a decision. He thought. I should know what's good for me. Of course, that's all Kageyama wanted. He couldn't be helping Hinata make decisions forever — he could but he'd rather if Hinata learnt to do it himself. You know, there are such situations where you're all on your own, and not even someone like Kageyama could save you — and these situations will often appear throughout one's lifetime.

"I'll break up with him," Hinata spoke up.

Kageyama, when the words hit his ears, couldn't believe what he heard; he almost thought he had imagined it. Not that it wasn't expected, Kageyama just didn't expect Hinata to appear so certain about this decision. But then again, what if this certainty was temporary? And Hinata was gonna regret it later? These thoughts were exactly what haunted Kageyama right now.

"What?"
"You heard me."
"Oi! Don't make hasty decisions."
"I said what I said, Tobio!"

"I'm not gonna pamper your ass if you come to me crying because of it," Kageyama rejoined, "Just so you know."
"Don't you worry, Kageyama-Kun," Hinata spoke cheekily; folding his arms and raising his chin loftily, displaying his confidence. He continued, "I know I surely won't cry over that asshole anymore now, no matter what. Be it breaking up with him."

Kageyama sighed. What could he say now? It wasn't a bad idea. It's better to get rid of people and stuff that only ever serve you a negative purpose. Plus, Kageyama would finally get a break.

"If you say so," Kageyama mumbled.