𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑂𝑛 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑂𝑤𝑛 𝐾𝑖𝑑

Panic Attacks Hurt like Hell - X

29th August

For almost a month now I had been taking lessons on ruling the kingdom and going to therapy. With the lessons, I'm attending more social events that only Mother and Father would attend, but now I have to attend with them, sometimes with Xander as my supposed 'date' as Father had stopped insisting I must get a husband before I take the throne, so let me just go to things like Gala's and Fundraisers with someone I'll have a good time with.

Another thing I'm doing is that I'm attending more parliament meetings. Sometimes I might just sit in the background, other times I will join in on conversation's and I'm getting more used to it.

The one problem I now have with the number of social events I'm attending is the balls. Beforehand, I could leave at whatever time I liked, and most of the time, the ball's I went to, I was forced to go to as I am a princess.

Tonight is one of the Annual Ball's to raise money for a local charity that helps support people who need mental help and getting them the appropriate amount of help depending on their condition.

And I had to make a speech since I was one of the hundreds benefiting from their good work.

I wasn't ready for it clearly, since I was sitting, looking at myself in my mirror for a good half hour before even trying to start getting ready.

I'd been struggling lately still, to get out of bed and be productive. In all honesty, I was nervous that the next day I would become queen. Xander told me this morning, that tonight though, I just needed to chill and dance it out!

His words, not mine.

I knew he was going to pick me up sooner or later, but I couldn't face the fact that I couldn't. Especially knowing that I would have to let some walls crumble for them to become Iron fortresses again.

{----------}

16:32

Just under half an hour to get ready.

I swear under my breath as I realise the time, knowing the time I had to get ready was slowly shrinking.

And I had no idea what to do.

I had no idea about a dress, hair, make-up, jewellery and anything else I would need tonight.

The problem with tonight was that it was the first proper ball where I would be introduced in a very grandeur way, and as the next in line to the throne.

I was supposed to dress very fancily and presentable in front of every Royal acquaintance.

I looked myself in the mirror as I started to take down my messy hair from lying in bed all day to try and tame it. It was definitely tricky.

The brush kept getting caught in tugs and anything I did brush ended up getting caught up in the rest of my bush-like hair.

Soon enough though, I did manage to untangle the mane I call my hair at times.

I then stop as I realise I had no idea what to wear, how to do my hair, or what my make-up was going to look like.

I was stumped again.

I stared back at myself as I slowly got up, taking in and over-analysing all my scars and stretch marks.

I tried to remember what Jameson used to say to me as I looked in the mirror with a glum look on my face, but my mind just went blank. It was as if someone had taken a rubber and wiped my mind clean.

It was more frustrating than anything as I knew I could stand there and point out my insecurities for hours on end.

I ended up forcing myself to walk away into the bathroom where I stared in that mirror for a long time as I felt frustration slowly bubble away inside of me.