𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑂𝑛 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑂𝑤𝑛 𝐾𝑖𝑑

I Would Slap You but I Ignore Your Existence - XXIII

18th October

The obstetrician's office felt as nerve-wracking and unnerving as the last time I had been there.

Every part of my body seemed to be tingling.

My leg wanted to bounce, my hands felt a need to shake, and my head wanted to whirr as I tried to think straight.

Jameson and I were there for the six weeks scan.

And it was safe to say I looked a bit green at the prospect of seeing the tiny foetus inside of me.

This morning my Hormones were off the charts at the fact that I would be seeing my baby, and it looked like Jameson would be the green one, but now it looks to be switched.

I was sitting there, slightly green and waiting for my name to be called, and Jameson looked like he was glowing.

Lucky git.

It felt as if hours had gone by when my name was finally called and we were headed into Doctor Reid's office.

"So, how are you feeling today?" Doctor Reid directed at me, as Jameson held my hand while I got on the bed.

I pause, thinking about an answer while Jameson helps me onto the bed.

"I'm okay. I think a lot has gone on recently that I'm more towards the bad side of okay, but I'm still okay," I say finally relaxing in my position, and sighing.

"Okay, it's good that you're okay, and I don't want to sound like a therapist here, but what happened?" Doctor Reid asks and I giggle slightly before replying.

"My sister called me a whore, I lashed out, and I haven't really talked to her since," I say, as Jameson squeezes my hand in comfort, and I look up to see him giving me a small smile, but all I can focus on is the purple rings around his eye, that are seemingly never going away.

"Okay, just be careful about the amount of stress you are causing baby, but otherwise, let's get you lying down, and can you please roll up your top slightly please," Doctor Reid says. She sticks on a pair of gloves, while I lie down and the bed and Jameson sits down on the chair beside it grasping my hand.

Doctor Reid then walks over and gets the ultrasound machine set up and ready for use and then apply's the gel. I hiss slightly as the gel trickled its way onto my abdomen.

"Yeah, sorry about that, the gel is always cold," Doctor Reid says while she then turns the monitor and gets out the actual thing that would scan the foetus inside of me.

Tears begin to prick at my eyes when I just see a blurry picture on the screen and I can't see a baby on there.

"Wh-Where is i-it?" I ask and a sob escapes my lips at the fact I can't see my baby.

Doctor Reid opens her mouth to speak as she moves her hand towards the monitor.

"Now, Kaitlyn, Jameson, I would normally not bring mothers in this early in the pregnancy for a scan as you can't really see the foetus, but, because, well, hey, Medical history! I found out that your Mother had some complications when giving birth to you. So, basically, when there are known things like complications to be taken into consideration, that's one of the only times I would bring in Mothers early," Doctor Reid says and then turns to face the monitor with her pinky pointing out and circling a dark grey blob on the screen, "So you see this?"

"Yes," Both Jameson and I reply.

"That is the very small foetus in your womb," Doctor Reid says turning back to us with a smile on her face, as I feel one grow on mine while Jameson kisses the back of my hand "Okay, so, now if you want I can print a picture of that off for you, and while I do that, you both can go and get an appointment for about two weeks?"

As I'm wiping off the gel from the abdomen, Jameson replies.

"Okay, great, thank you," He says, and then I hop down off the bench and thank Doctor Reid before going off to book the next appointment and get the picture from the scan.

{----------}

Later, once Jameson and I had gotten back to the Castle, I was sat in my study, putting a copy of the scan picture in a frame, with a red 'sharpie' having been drawn around where my baby was in the picture.

As I stuck the frame down and got out the paperwork that was needing to be done, I heard the door being chapped, and I say a small 'come in' before I hear the door open and close.

I hear the person sit down in one of the chairs facing my desk, and when I look, I see Alice, and quickly averting my eyes back to my desk.

"Why are you not looking at me?" Alice asks while I scribble out my signature onto the document I was looking at before replying.

"Don't you know why? You called me a 'whore' after all," I say and put away the document I had just signed.

"I know, but you still won't look at me, never mind talk to me," Alice says as I sigh, closing over the paperwork and sitting back in my chair.

"You know, I would slap you but I ignore your existence nowadays," I say and open the paperwork and continue to do it.

"Look, okay, Kaitlyn, I get your fucking pissed but that's no way to be treating someone," Alice retorts back while I sigh, finally putting the papers away for good.

"I think it is, Alice, you want to know fucking why? Because you called me a whore, and you don't get to call me a whore, because I made a choice, it was either to sleep with some random hook-up or sleep with the guy I love. I chose the latter, so until you know what actually happened that night, you don't get to call me a whore. And I get to be pissed," I say, a downtrodden look soon appearing on Alice's face, "All I want is my sister back and not the ungrateful bitch I've dealt with the past few weeks, so please, be my guest to show me the person I know and trust and not the person I'm pissed at right now," I finish off, slight tears in my eyes as I watch one trickle down Alice's cheek.

"I'm sorry Kaitlyn," Alice says, and I walk over to hug her, enveloping her in my arms, "I'm sorry for being a bitch and calling you a whore," Alice mumbles as I hug her.

"I'm sorry too," I say quietly as I hug her, "I lashed out, and I get that's why you were made at me in the first place, but me lashing out a second time didn't help matters," I say as I feel Alice start to sob.

I hug her for what felt like an eternity before he finally felt capable enough to let go and wipe her tear-sodden face.

I give her a tight-lipped smile before going over to my bookshelf and plucking out my copy of 'Little Women' and bringing it over to where Alice sat.

"Now, I know you have your own copy of this book, but I thought this version might be a bit better to re-read," I say as I pass it over, giving Alice one last hug before she goes out the door.

I sigh, looking around my study, knowing it needs at least a small cleaning before walking right back around my desk again to restart my paperwork.

UPDATED; 11/06/2023

WORDS; 1256