Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Love Countdown PT.2

I didn't go after her. The indecision inside me didn't allow me to move for a good few minutes and when I realized it, it was too late for anything.

"That's you, the person who doesn't need anyone, who doesn't care about anyone, who doesn't run after anyone."

As much as I tried to convince myself of those things now, there was a heaviness inside me, something similar to remorse, of a missed chance that was pounding against my head in intermittent chastisement. Deep down I knew the shit I'd done, but my instinct to keep up appearances was stronger and came to the fore. Not a single tear flowed no matter how intense my desire to cry was at that moment, not a crazy idea came to my mind to fix it all and not a trace of that whole plot inside me was externalized. I wore the perfect mask.

Suddenly the party became more disturbing than it already was for me, it was almost a purgatory that I wanted to get out of, but couldn't and little by little I was suffering.

I sat on one of the kitchen stools and saw a bottle of vodka right in front of me with a glass beside it. It felt like a premeditated trap, and I was about to go down like a rabbit. This time I didn't have much strength to fight my instincts, I let myself go bringing the glass closer and pouring some of the liquid from the bottle into it right after. I leaned my face against the edge to smell the strong, sour smell of alcohol, which I've been running from lately, and I thought again whether or not I should do this.

- Look what we have here, who is alive always shows up. - I twisted my face in a grimace when I recognized that voice and turned around in disbelief.

- For God's sake, not you... - I huffed, turning forward again and taking the glass in my hands.

- Good to see you too, kitten.

- Get out of here, Hongjoong. - I warned seeing him do exactly the opposite, stopping leaning against the counter next to me.

- Is this how you welcome me after so long? Didn't you miss me? - His fingers ran down my arm making me reach further to the opposite side.

- I wished for your death, but I can see that it didn't work out very well. I'll try again later.

- Why so gross? You know what I liked most about you was that, right? That rudeness... Makes me want to grab you. - He leaned closer, whispering the last words in my ear.

I won't lie denying the involuntary shiver that ran through my skin hearing his voice so close and provocative. I was bitterly condemning myself for feeling anything after what he did, but one thing I learned today is that our bodies don't always do what we want them to.

I dodged his exaggerated proximity again and jumped onto the next bench, taking the bottle of vodka with me.

- I'm not going to survive the night without this anyway, fuck it. - I fit the tip in my mouth and turned the liquid inside, grunting with each sip given with the burning that was in my throat.

I squeezed my eyes shut and held on until I couldn't take it anymore, there was no feeling anywhere in my mouth anymore and dizziness hit me as I lowered my head along with the bottle.

- Wow, you're even worse than I remember. - Hongjoong joked reminding me of his unwanted presence there.

- You don't know anything about me.

- Actually I'm the only person here who knows you completely. - He emphasized making me notice his intentions.

- So what if we had sex? For God's sake, stop being like a little kid who got candy. It was just once and that was it, you did yourself the favor of ending it by eating the rest of the school. - I smiled ironically and he sat on the bench I was before.