Yesterday's fears

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- Chaeng, come here. - I took her hand without saying anything else and dragged her with me to the first empty classroom I found in that corridor.

- Why are we leaving the girls?

- Because I want to talk only to you. Sana and Momo already know and will probably tell Dahyun.

I sat at the teacher's desk pulling her close and organizing my thoughts. What should I do? I lied and she'd probably already figured it out, it would be a waste of time to go on with this now.

- Who did you pick up last night? - The question seemed laden with jealousy, but her soft voice made it sound like concern.

How good could she be? Even when I make mistakes she tries to understand me.

- An ex-friend of mine. - I swallowed dry.

- How can someone be someone's ex-friend? - She smiled making me look up at her face. - Either it is or it isn't.

- It's...

- Complicated? - Chaeyoung anticipated me and came closer putting my low leg between hers and resting her hands on my shoulders. - I will no longer accept your suspense, I want to know this story. You already owe me three.

She pouted and I sighed seeing myself cornered and with no alternative escape route. Chaeyoung was right, I needed to open up somehow, these unfinished stories were starting to suffocate me.

- I haven't always lived here in New York. I was born in Texas and raised in Japan, but I moved to Korea a few years ago and that's where it all started. You know, my dad wasn't always the bad person I preach him to be today. When I was little, I remember always taking a day just for us, me and him. Each week something different, a game, a park... He encouraged me to do all the things I showed an interest in, from softball, ballet, to singing. All the kids at my school loved him and envied me deeply, I even became famous because of it.

I laughed to myself and Chaeyoung followed me. The good memories running inside my head like a movie right in front of my eyes.

I hadn't brought up the subject in a while, my father was always on the tip of my tongue as were all the angry and remorseful words that accompanied him. But I was forgetting that one day not everything was so bad, I should give him credit for that. He tried and managed to be a good father, even if only for a short time.

My eyes now stared at the girl in front of me in awe, her hands sliding across my lap in a comforting caress. She certainly made the difficult task of opening up and exposing myself easier. Thanks to her, I was rescuing certain important parts of myself that I thought I had lost in time.

- With you talking like that, I envied you too. - Chaeyoung smiled making me sigh.

In my head, this incessant adoration for her every reaction was so ridiculous, but at the same time everything about her made me more passionate.

- Anyway, after that my father was invited by a friend to found a company in partnership and everything changed. He would come home stressed, we didn't have time to be together. Gradually he distanced himself and excluded me. As if my mother wasn't doing it enough.

- You don't talk much about your mom. - she smoothed my face with her fingertips making me gasp in delight.

- Because there's not much to talk about. Seems like the two of us don't get along at all, you know? It's like a stranger who doesn't have the same tastes and culture as you so carrying on a conversation becomes almost impossible. But that shit shouldn't happen between mother and daughter. – I didn't even finish the sentence and Chaeyoung covered my mouth with the palm of her hand. Immediately I recalled my mistake, she doesn't tolerate swearing. My favorite smile broke out on her lips right after.

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