I Forgot That You Existed

9

A raindrop touches my arm, and the ground starts to heat up. It's past twelve o'clock, and we barely see the sun, which made for gloomy weather that dimmed our pathway.

I don't think we could make it on time, so I made myself ready in case we happened to cross with our friends on only one specific trail to trudge down the forest. For sure, our colleagues will cut their time off and hastily go down here because of the unexpected heavy rain. What a busted trip! I can't imagine our lives up there if this continues for the whole afternoon or, at worst, up until nighttime. The idea of going back is definitely the craziest because we will obviously get caught by the only entrance gate to the guarded camp down there. The rain starts to fall off, and the soil turns into mud. What will I do?

It seems like my mind stopped working in a minute until the moment he blocked his bag from the falling branches in the super strong wind. I look at him, and his eyes are delicate and bright, and I can't stop myself from staring at his gorgeous face, with a fair complexion and a perfect nose bridge with a thin red lip. It seems everyone around us has stopped, and every moment has become slow. I can no longer deny it; I'm in love with his gaze, with every emotion written in his face, when he knows how to speak his mind intelligently, and with the smile he carries. I'm in love with everything he is. He looked at me as if he were reading my mind and hugged me like we weren't struggling in the middle of something. I come to think, what are we now? Getting to know or still stuck at the flirting stage, no, it can't be. But do we really need a label for anything? It doesn't matter; let's keep it this way and just focus our minds on thinking of how to get out of here before a lightning strike strikes us. "We don't want to get caught, don't we?" I say it with a little laugh. He blushes and holds my hand. He guides me with every step and stops when we pass large and slippery rocks. It was not difficult to make the road in the middle of the forest to the sea; we just thought of taking the road and hiding in the woods on the side of the trail itself for fear that we might meet and see them.

I come to think of tomorrow and the days after it. If this connection lasts, how will I be able to interact with his friends? talking to him in the hallway. having lunch with him. crash at his house? or doing homework at my place? Will he take me out and drive me home? I'm curious what it feels like to be in a relationship. But what does a relationship really mean? As I have read, being in a relationship means being in love. Yes, it should be. Love is neither a moment nor a feeling; it is the existence of togetherness. I need to have faith. A constant nagging or skeptical attitude will ruin the relationship. I'm glad I don't own that persona. Being in a relationship means having a balance between freedom and bonding. I never expected to fully let my guard down on someone, and one thing that a relationship requires is being able to share. Sharing feelings, emotions, thoughts, and actions will make us feel complete in our own world of two connected people. Even so, he needs to accept that we have separate lives, and I should not be afraid to try new things just because he's not into them. Life is interesting only because of the differences and individuality, and we should embrace that. We should praise the good, accept the flaws, and provide inspiration to grow. Why am I going into deep thought again? Why can't I just ride with the flow of this intense and heart-fluttering connection?

             How can I tell Charlotte and Beatrix why and how we met? I immediately remembered my frequent teasing of Beatrix when she was broken: "You drew your destiny, just on scratch paper." I would be annoyed when he retaliated against me. I really think I'm laughing. Well, it's not strange. I realize that love doesn't have to last for years. Love is love; every second is a feeling, a minute interaction, a blink of an eye, or a meaningful gaze; it just struck you like a lightning volt. Getting to know someone on a deep, emotionally intimate level, separate from physical attraction, typically takes some time. Maybe this is infatuation, but whatever it is, all I know deep down is that I'm happy and comfortable when he's around.