I Forgot That You Existed

Chapter 2

The sounds of leaves scrunching as I stepped on them wearily. This place where I first found happiness and excitement turns into mind-numbing and relentlessly tedious with an obnoxious guy wandering at the back.

Tumigil ako at umupo sa malaking bato at sumandal sa malaking puno ng Oak.

Napaka-unexpected talaga ng mga turning points sa buhay, sa puntong minsan nakakainis na. Bukas ako sa mga unexpected twist, hindi nga lang sa mga oras na kinakailangan kong mapag-isa. Yes, he's a guy from our school. He's my colleague. Tiwala naman akong wala siyang gagawing masama. Nakakapagtaka lang kung bakit sumunod siya sa akin hanggang dito.

'What's your deal?' tanong ko sa kaniya, kahit pinipilit ko pang ipasok sa sistema ko na kasama ko siya ngayon.

Hindi niya siguro alam kung hanggang kailan ko ito balak gawin. Panigurado hindi niya rin alam ang daan pabalik, dahil mahigit fifty meters na rin ang binaybay namin mula sa camp site.

'I don't know, I just find it boring.'

'Uhuh, so you think you will meet fun with me? Pathetic.'

Nagkibit balikat na lamang siya, ibinaba ang bag at nagsimulang umupo sa tabi ko.

'This forest is huge. Do you think they'll gonna find us here? For sure, they're looking for us right now."

'Don't act superman, if you're coward to face your actions. I warned you.' Saad ko habang nakatingin sa kalayuan.

I'm having a hard time to read his intentions, as if he really has an intention. Does he? So far, I sense nothing. He's just a handsome guy with nothing to do in his life or haven't figure it out.

I stare at him to prove my conviction. He's handsome. He got this bad boy angst wrap up in angelic sweet face. I don't know, but he's face is my type. Before. Till he insist of coming here and ruined my solitary moment.

"Seriously, why are you doing this?" Agad naman akong natawa sa tanong niya. I think my laughter is more than just to conceal like how much of that is really real in my own life.

'This journey will not getting any serious talk with a stranger like you." I responded with a little laugh. It's not in my nature to be mysterious but I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.

"Stranger? Seriously? Kung tawagin mo nga akong asshole kanina parang akala mo ang tagal na nating magkakilala. Anyway, I'm Max." Bigla naman siyang tumagilid at inilapit ang kaniyang kaliwang kamay sa akin, as if may balak akong kilalanin siya.

"Oh really, I know how to read." Sabi ko habang nakatingin sa name tag niya at hindi na nakipag-kamay pa. Asshole? Sigh, favorite expression ko yun sa mga gagong tao na hindi ko kilala.

"We're too fast for first-name basis, are we?", pabiro niya at malayang isinandal ang katawan sa puno.

"Oh." I shook my head. Wala akong masabi sa isang 'to. "Get lost, then." ,dagdag ko at nagsimula nang tumayo.

"Huh? Wala pa namang five minutes." Reklamo niya kahit wala rin namang nagawa at tumayo nalang.

Inabot ko ang compass sa bulsa ng aking bag at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Ilang kilometro pa ang layo. Panigurado hapon na ako makakarating. Kailangan kong bilisan, ayokong maabutan ng dapit-hapon, mahirap na. Sa paglalakad ko, bigla nalang lumitaw si Nicole sa harapan ko, "Ava, here take me a picture, make sure you get the perfect angle." Iniabot niya sa akin ang camera at ngumiti na parang bang napakagaan ng buhay para sa kanya. I love it when she doesn't complicate things. I open my eyes and realize how we started out creating memories but ended up becoming one of them.

Going back here comes from my own realization last night. I realized that I've been living my whole life in monotone, rain after rain, as if the playground never been touch for a year. After my father and my friend left me, I hid under my roof, with my pen and journals and it teaches me a lot. Everything taught me how to value myself before anyone else. How to not beg for someone's love—that love and attraction will happen naturally. That is, if it's there from the beginning, it taught me how to not lower my standards. How to not lower my beliefs, my feelings and my love for someone. It taught me to not chase those who don't want to be chased. To not waste my love on those who don't need it. Who don't want it. Who don't appreciate it, the way it's meant to be appreciated.