I Forgot That You Existed

13

Disappointment turned to despair. Months turned into years. Years multiplied, and nothing seemed to get better for me. Meanwhile, seeing my old school friends on their Instagram, they were traveling and having fun while I was feeling stuck, like a prisoner with no way out. Why couldn't my life flow like theirs? What was I doing wrong? What had I done to deserve this? My limitations hurt me more than words could say.

However, eventually things turned around for me, and I did find some answers by learning to trust that the universe had simply put me on a much more suitable path. At some point in our lives, we have all suffered from this kind of grief. Just know that there is a meaning behind your perceived failures and bad luck. Sometimes, when we surrender and tell the universe that we trust it to take us to a new place, miraculous things happen. They might not happen as quickly or as smoothly as we'd like, but they happen according to the universe's plan for you. Therefore, the more you say, Universe, the more I trust you! Please guide me to where I'm meant to be; the more things unfold in your favor, the better.

I tried to create a solid, regular routine to maintain balance and wellness in my life. It's been two years now since the accident, and holding my journal, I'm now reading my answer to the question of why I need to continue. I think the second chance given to me to live was not just coincidental; I just had no idea why, but I wish the galaxy would one day reveal the reason. I know I am conditioned for something greater. I have to live; Nicole will be angry with me if, until now, I still don't carry her fighting spirit and positivity. So is Dad. I need to accept in my system that every single creature in the world has a purpose and can gradually change and take care of the world. I had to keep going, for them and for myself, to be blessed a second time. I feel like I need to see something in the future.

Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being okay with what happened. This is not the case. Most people don't feel OK about losing a loved one. This stage is about accepting the fact that our loved one has disappeared physically and acknowledging that this new reality is the permanent truth. We won't like this fact or make it OK, but eventually we will accept it. We learn to live with it. This is the new standard we must learn in order to live. We should try to live now in a world where we are losing our loved ones. In the fight against this new standard, initially many people wanted to keep life as it was before a loved one died. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot keep the former intact. This has changed forever, and we must fix it.

I fixed the excess lipstick on my lip and looked in the mirror. I miss Seeing myself like this, I miss this gorgeous aura. I immediately picked up the Hermès Himalaya Birkin purse my mom had sent, and I hurried downstairs when I heard the sound of the doorbell.

When I opened the door, the excited faces of Charlotte and Beatrix were exposed. "Sis! We got the VIPs! " The two of them opened up and put the concert ticket to Taylor Swift's world tour on their faces. We were simultaneously surprised by Monica's horn: "Come on, we're going to parkour through backstage!" and one by one we rode the green hatchback chevy. There is nothing more fun in these teenage years.

We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. As we begin to live again and enjoy our lives, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved ones. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and new interdependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, and we evolve.

Though busy finding the books that would be needed for reference in the term paper, he still didn't stop blabbering on as I pushed the cart and helped him search the vast state of California library here in Sutro. "I can't understand why he doesn't want to take me to Thunderhill Raceway Park; I'm not the one to race." Beatrix's complaint. It's rumored that the school jocks will be competing in Buttonwillow, and I don't know the size of their bets for the anticipated race that will be held tomorrow. It is often held from ten to four in the morning, as the participants are children of senators and wealthy businessmen, so the law favors them.