Notice me

07 | Nightmares

Sienna's POV

I wake as if it's an emergency as if sleeping had become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast and there is a buzzing in my brain. Together they create panic.
I frantically look around. I double-tap on my phone screen and it lights up. 3 AM.

The rain was coming down in sheets as loud screaming shook the walls of the house. Eating the noises and storing them deep into the memory of the house. My memory. A strike of lightning lit up my room for a second. I took deep breaths. On other days I would go down. Stop the loud arguing. Maybe even protect my mom.

Only now my brain is like a flat battery. Which makes not only my brain but my whole body exhausted.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my shins; if I could just curl up into a ball, I wouldn't have to face real life, I'd be protected from everything around me.

But I'd still have to live with myself, with the wretched memories swirling around in my head.

Again I look at my phone. Setting it before me.

3:09 AM.

My eyes, already red and puffy from crying, squeezed shut to push more tears out. I let my head fall to my knees.
No matter what I did, there was nowhere I could hide from the thoughts in my head and noises from downstairs.

All I can do through hopelessness is stare at my phone as the time ticks by. Every precious droplet of seconds drips away.

And so I already know this day will pass as if I am hungover, not from drink, but from the nightmares.

I bury my face deeper into my knees. Letting the loud bumping of rain against the roof together with screaming and shattering glass against the floor consume me whole.

☆ ☆ ☆

Due to my sleepless night, I move around in slow, dragging movements.

With dread forming in my stomach and all the nerves in my body telling me to stop and not move further I open the door. Slowly and quietly I make my way downstairs. As soon as my feet leave the last step of the stairs my socks are wet.

I shiver from the feeling and look dreadfully down. Releasing a small sigh of relief. I lift my right leg and furrow my eyebrows. My eyes follow the occasional wet spots. Shortly I see brown shattered glass beside a bigger puddle.

Beer bottle.

I make my body move into the kitchen. Almost instantly noticing the wooden chair which was most likely pushed to the ground. An unfinished meal is left on the table with glass that too fell over and spilled its content.

Subconsciously I check the drawer with cutlery. I nod to myself.

☆ ☆ ☆

"Hiiiii." I'm engulfed in a bear hug.

I look up and see Kane smiling brightly at me.

"Hi."

"Come. Our class is almost starting."

I tilt my head. "We have classes together?"

He enthusiastically bounces his head. "A good number of them. Some with Dominic too."

My mood lifts. "Really?"

"You just haven't noticed."

"Sorry."

He shakes his head. "Nah it's okay."