Burn -- A Biography

PTSD

I'm pretty sure a bpd diagnosis comes with a PTSD diagnosis. You need some sort of trauma in order to even develop bpd, right?

I haven't been to my new Public High school all week. Everytime I thought about it my body froze up and I had invisible (but severe) panic attacks. To the point where I got extremely exhausted after my mom accepted I wasn't going yet again.

So when I went to school Nutcase yesterday I told the "teacher" there that I should switch to afternoon classes and drop out of Science, keeping English A. And she said it's doable. So that's a huge relief.

My old therapist suggested I have therapy with Lila, the women that diagnosed me with Autism. He said the wait time is six months and I can get in person appointments.

I started on a new ADHD medication, dexitrine or whatever it's called. It works better than the Vyvance I was on, and I've been eating a lot more since I've started taking it.

My mom called my psychiatrist yesterday, or rather, vice versa, to talk about a different medication for anxiety. Currently I'm on 60 mg of Fluoxetine, which doesn't seem to be doing much.

I stopped taking my birth control yesterday because I was bleeding. Now I'm not bleeding? My body is so fucking confusing.

Also, on Thursday, which was when I discovered that I'm on my period, when I stood up from using the bathroom my heart rate quickly spiked from around 100 non to 150 bpm, which is the caution zone for me.

Then I proceeded to complain how I really need to get that tilt table test and see a nutritionist because somehow, I'm also not gaining weight??? Even though I've been eating a hell of a lot more?

Anyway now it's winter break and my face is extremely oily and dirty so Imma go wash it then moisturize it, because even though you have an oily face doesn't mean you should skip the moisturizer! Just maybe, go for oil free ones (that was a skin care tip trust me. Also salyclic acid takes some getting used to).