I think you accidentally saved my life.

1 ▪︎ nightmare

tw: sh

~Gabriella's pov~

i woke up, dripping in sweat and hyperventilating. another stupid nightmare. I'm 17, why am i still having them? they're not nightmares like a kid would have but they've never happened. but i worry about it happening. it's stupid. i grab my phone to check the time.

2am.

i've slept all day and just woken up now. typical. i try to calm myself down, but nothing is working. I know i shouldn't, but there's only one thing i can do to make myself feel in control.

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i get up and go to the bathroom. everyone is asleep so i dont have to be that quiet, but still relatively quiet. i open the cabinet and find the razor box, finding my blades. once again, the feeling of the sharp metal being dragged over my skin calms me. but the regret instantly sets in after. I grab a bandage and wrap it around my arm, sanitize the blades and put them away, and go back to my room.
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it's 2am, what the fuck am i supposed to do? i'm not tired so i can't go back to sleep. i suppose i could go for a walk. my body hurts but that's probably the only thing i can really do right now.

i like walking at night. it's somewhat comforting. to know that between the hours of 1am and 5am, no one expects anything from you. and its dark, so no one can see you, except in the car headlights. my parents don't care where i am. they couldn't care less about me i dont think. i could be dead and they wouldn't care. actually, thinking about it, i could do just that.