I think you accidentally saved my life.

22 ▪︎ discharged

TW: abuse, sh.

~gabriella~

a long ass week later and im being discharged. i can't wait to get out of here. the four white walls get very boring after a while, i think i'm going more insane.

i'm not sure what my parents will say. they will most likely be mad. not like i can say it was an accident though.

my father isn't stupid, unlike my mother who believes stuff. you could feel her any day. i guess i get my lying tendencies from her too. some could say i'm a pathological liar.

______

we pull up to my house.
"call me if you need anything" billie says. i pull her into a hug. it feels so safe and i don't want to let go, but i know i have to. i get out and close the door, and walk up to my house.

as soon as i step in, i'm met with the smell of alcohol. this was a bad time to come home. i try to sneak upstairs, but the floorboard squeaks. fucking floorboards.

"gabriella dawn hallowes" my father's voice booms from the living room. i've been full named, uh oh.

"why were you in the hospital for a week? what the hell happened?" he shouted.
"i overdosed by accident" i lie.
"i'm disappointed in you. you're a disappointment to my family."
that's all i hear before i feel my shoulder and face in agonising pain.
"go to your room" he says, walking back into the living room.

i get upstairs to my room, lock the door and sob on the floor. maybe what he said is true. maybe i am just a disappointment to the family. a disappointment to everyone, in fact.

i know what i need to do. i walk into my bathroom and grab the shiny piece of metal from in between the tile cracks. sliding the blade across my arm makes me feel surreal. it feels good. i do it over and over until i suddenly come to reality and see my whole arm is dripping blood. i sanitize the blade and put it away, then clean up my arm and throw a hoodie on. it happens to be one of billie's, which brings me comfort.

both my arms and my face hurt now. great. i'm not really sure what to do. i would take a nap but i'm not tired right now. i slept until i was discharged this morning. what a messed up sleep schedule i have. schedule? who ever heard of that?

i'm scrolling through my phone when i see an incoming facetime call from billie, so of course i answer it. and instantly i see her face pop up on the screen, which makes me smile.

"hey baby" she says, giving me a cheesy smile.

"hey bils" i reply. "what are y-"
"what's that on your face?" she interrupts me, her face instantly changing.
"oh its nothing my dad just hit me. no big deal" i reply. hopefully she can't tell that i've been crying.

"can i come over?" she asks.
"if you can find a way to come in other than the door then yes. i wanna see you so bad" i say with a pouty face.
"you saw me 2 hours ago" she laughs, "but i'm on my way" she says as she hangs up.

i get up and pass a mirror, only now seeing that i look like horrendous. like if a shit took a shit. so i put on some makeup to cover the bruise now on my face and change my joggers into some new ones from my closet.

as i brush my hair, i hear a tapping. i figure it's just the birds, so i ignore it. i hear it again and look to my window, and i burst out laughing.

billie has her face pressed up against my window.

i stumble over to the window and let her in. how on earth she climbed up there, i don't know. spidey billie activated.

"you bozo" i said, still laughing"
"i love seeing you laugh" she replies.

we both laugh our socks off on the floor in a ball for a good few minutes. i love laughing like that, it feels so good. it's like all your worries dissappear for a moment and you feel peace.

but that peace never lasts for long.

"GABRIELLA GET DOWNSTAIRS THIS INSTANT" i hear the gut wrenching voice of my father.

"you'd better go. but stay outside, i want to come out with you after this" i say to billie.
she nods and climbs back out the window.

what could it be this time.