The Phoenix Swordsman (Sword Art Online: Reader Insert)

To Be Strong

Author: Before we get started with this chapter, I want to give out special thanks to everyone who has stuck around with this story. I've noticed, ever since Chapter 1, that the consistency of readers has been growing less and less with every chapter. To those of you who are still here, I'm not giving up on this story or any other story that I'm currently writing like The Tale of the Thunder Breather or any future stories that are currently in the works. The reason for the lack of updates recently is because I started a job. So, my schedule is kind of messed up. Please bare with me as I continue these stories.

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As we were sitting in the cave being silent, Sinon suddenly spoke up.

Sinon: So, Death Gun was in laughing coffin. And you guys fought before.

She said to me. She raises her head from her resting point and faces me.

Sinon: U/N, about the people you killed. How are you not affected by it? How are you strong to the point where you're not affected by it?

All I could do was stare at her blue eyes. I sighed once more as I spoke up.

U/N: I'm not strong Sinon. I don't know how I cope with those deaths. It's like an on and off kind of thing for me. Sometimes I remember the things I've done, hell I've even had nightmares. Surrounded by the faceless souls I've taken in the game.

Sinon: Then... What am I supposed to do?

U/N: It's ok Sinon. I think that's how it should be. There shouldn't be things that we force ourselves to forget. There is always significance to taking a life. I believe that once I've accepted that, then maybe I'll be able to find some closure. You see a majority of those I've killed were times I was protecting someone. They didn't care about the lives they were taking. I was forcing myself to think that I was protecting someone instead when in reality, while I was still saving someone, I was still killing a human being.

Sinon: Closure, by accepting what I've done...

She closes her eyes and lays down on my lap again.

U/N: So, I guess I'm everyone's pillow now?

Sinon: Yes. Yes, you are. You know. It's unsettling that under the mask of Death Gun, there is a real person under there that wants to kill others.

Kirito: If only we could remember the username he went by then we would be able to find out his real name and address.

U/N: That's the reason I logged into GGO Kirito. You know, that's something I've never asked you before, Kirito, why'd you log into this game when you had no reason to?

Kirito: Your "employer" gave me a tip so to speak.

U/N: Of course, he did.

Sinon: Back onto the topic about Death Gun, maybe the reason he logged onto this game is because he loves to PK. Maybe he enjoyed doing it in SAO. Do you think that's the reason?

Kirito: While that's a good reason, there is certainly more to it than that. He killed XeXeed and Taruko in front of an audience. It was the same with Pale Ryder. He always kills when the most amount of people are watching him. And the hand gesture of the cross he does may be a way to freak them out. I know it's not brain damage, the Amusphere is more advanced than what the Nerve Gear was.

U/N: It's heart failure.

They both looked at me.

U/N: When I first learned of Death Gun killing players from a game. I thought "this couldn't be like SAO again." I know since that accident that not only has the gear has gotten more secure to protect the brain, but killing someone in real life with heart failure from a virtual bullet is absurd. Thats also something to consider you know.