Chaos Rising |BOOK 2| Harry Potter x PJO |Alexandra Marine|

JASON GRACE

"I understand your pain, Mr. Grace-" 

"NO YOU DON'T!" I yelled at Dumbledore. "YOU CLEARLY DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN- OTHERWISE YOU'D HAVE LEARNT YOUR LESSON BY NOW!"

"Jason-" Sirius stood up, putting his hands in the air. "Look-"

"SHUT UP!"

My insides were burning like a wildfire. My eyes were dry, and my throat felt scratchy.

I had no tears left to shed.

But the pain didn't leave me. 

Whatever I did- she was still there in my mind- the scene floated through my head every time I closed my eyes.

My wife, stuck in her sixteen year old form- when I had first seen her. Her mouth was open in surprise, and her hand had been halfway through conjuring a Stunning Spell when the green light hit her. 

The one among the nine had fallen through a veil to the the Underworld. 

The Burrow, although surprisingly comfortable and huge, was no bargain for the cozy flat that Alex and I had decorated for ourselves. But it was better when there were people around me. It was better because I didn't have to hear the voices inside, blaming and pinpointing the death of my wife on others or worse, on me. 

It was Sirius' fault.

Or maybe it was Percy's.

Or Harry's.

It changed every time. But in the end, the equation always ended with- it's all my fault.

And maybe- I found it difficult to argue against that equation.

Two months had passed since that incident, but I still couldn't get over it.

Sirius may be free from Azkaban, The Burrow may be getting a new member of family, Bill may be marrying Fleur- but nothing could shake me off from the depressed feeling of losing Alex. 

Nights always led to nightmares. I didn't have to sleep to dream.

Thoughts always led to death. 

If it hadn't been for Percy and Will, I wouldn't even have lived for a week after the incident. They were always there to comfort me. They hid the pain in their hearts, just to act like everything will be okay- even if it wasn't going to be.

"Jason," Percy warned me. "it's getting too loud. Calm down just a bit, please."

I took a deep breath, and turned to Dumbledore. "You suspect giant involvement in everything that's going on in the Muggle world. You suspect that Inferi numbers are growing faster than ever. You suspect that Dementors have now joined Voldemort. What do you not suspect?" I yelled at the man.

Dumbledore did not answer.  

"We know that only Harry can kill Voldemort," I said, slamming my hands on the table. "We know that only he has the power to do so- as he did when he was just one year old. We know that we have done a damn good job of protecting Harry Potter as a secret society, and we know that every person here will continue to do so- even willing to sacrifice their lives at this point."

"The boy is right, Dumbledore," Remus said a moment later. "Voldemort cannot reach him before going through us."

"After all this, if you still do not want to divulge any information," I said, anger bubbling inside me, "Lord Voldemort won't be the killer of the Wizarding World and the Muggle World. It'll be you. It'll always be you."

"Especially when you have to divulge information to Harry Potter," Percy nodded. "There's no question in this, Dumbledore. We cannot let judgement cloud our vision. You cannot possibly even think that Voldemort would ever try to read Harry's mind."