Not Evil,Just Hurt

1- Hogwarts Express

Argh! How could I agree to go to Hogwarts?! I have absolutely no desire to go there. I'd rather have stayed in my dark mansion. I definitely would have preferred to stay with my father, Voldemort, rather than go there. At the same time, I didn't really have a choice. My father made me go. He's two years old. I would have done anything to get there. But now I don't want to.

I've changed a lot. Two years ago, I would have given anything to go to Hogwarts and to get out of this mansion, from which I am locked, but now I would commit the worst crimes to stay there. My father kept me from leaving that mansion for 15 years. And finally, I can get out of it, it should make me happy. But that's not the case. Stay in this mansion, bring me great things. I became stronger physically and mentally. I can handle my emotions in spite of the pain. All this because of my father, sometimes without warning, threw me a sore throat. He kept telling me, as long as you can't stop showing your pain, you'll get sore ones. I got used to it.

Also, I learned magic in a very different way and at a different level than other young people, but I also learned to control my powers. Indeed, besides having a magic wand I have gifts for reading people's minds, telekinesis and pyrokinesis.

Still, living in isolation from the outside world does not have only good things. I don't know anything about the outside world. I never had any friends or boyfriends. I've never seen the sun or the clouds or the stars. I've never seen any animals except this snake that keeps my father's company. Not knowing anything about this part of the world doesn't stress me out, but it makes me angry. My father sends me to make a fool of myself in front of hundreds of students and not to mention the filthy bloodshed!

—

In my opinion, I would be a Slytherin since I still have a good character. I know what I want and I don't let myself be walked on easily. I'm also very cunning. Anyway, if I get sent to another house, I'll be killed by my own father, the next second. When I think about it, I still doubt I'm in Slytherin. I may have been removed from the outside world, but I am not uneducated! I had at my disposal a large or even a gigantic library. So, I inquired about how Hogwarts works. I remember reading that Slytherin's students were pure-blooded. So, it makes me doubt my future home, for I am not sure I am pure-blood. I heard there were some exceptions, some mixed-bloods had already returned to Slytherin. I doubt the purity of my blood since I do not know who my mother is. My father won't tell me. To be honest, I don't think he has any idea. I'm sure he just wanted an heir and didn't care who the mother was. I'm pretty sure he killed my mother after my brother and I were born. My father who wanted one heir to end up with two heirs. Me, Rosemarie Riddle and Mattheo Riddle. Twins.

Mattheo has already been in Hogwarts for two years. When I found out my twin was going to Hogwarts and I wasn't, I felt betrayed by him. My father's justification for this was that he needed to know what was going on there. When I asked him to go, he replied in his dry tone that I would be of no use to him. He had added that I was not powerful enough and I would then lower his credibility and strength with the sorcerers. It hurt me deep down. But I hadn't shown him my disappointment. I humiliated him enough, showing my emotions would make it worse. Deep down, I knew that wasn't the only reason. He wanted to separate me from Mattheo. I knew even though he never said it, that he didn't like our brotherly relationship. We spent our time together, we did everything together. My brother meant everything to me. He's always been the most important person to me. He always stood up for me and sometimes he took the blame to keep me from suffering my father's anger and all that comes with it. Surely my father believed that keeping us apart would allow me to strengthen myself physically and mentally.

Indeed, as a result of our separation, I have become much stronger. I had no one left to defend myself, so I had to be able to do it myself. If what I'm saying is true, I can say that my father has achieved his goal. Despite this, the separation of me and my twin left a mark on me. When he left two years ago to join Hogwarts, our entire relationship was destroyed. I felt betrayed. He tried not to show his joy at finally leaving this hellhole, but I could see it. It was very subtle. But I could see that little spark in her eyes. I couldn't blame him anyway. After all, it wasn't her fault that I stayed locked up here. I should have let him go without saying anything, but I didn't do that. I felt so betrayed that the day before he left, while our father was in a meeting, I went to talk to my brother. Actually, I didn't talk to him. I yelled at him. I put all the blame on him. We had a fight like never before. I confessed these four truths to her and left her room one last time, taking care to slam the door. Since then, I haven't spoken to him or seen him again.

Sometimes he came back to the manors, but every time my father locked me in the basement. At first, still in anger, I was glad to avoid my brother, even though it wasn't the way I would have thought. But as time went by, I felt bad, terribly bad. I resented the way our relationship had somehow ended. And so, getting locked up became more and more horrible. And the more the days went by, the more the length of my stay in the elongated basement.

Today, I resent myself, but a part of me still feels betrayed. In two years, he'd never come to see me or get me out of that hell. He knew what I was going through here. Every time he came back, I got a pinch in my heart. He was upstairs and had no idea where I was or what I was living.

And today, I'm going to see him again. After two, he must have changed. I know absolutely nothing about his "new life." In the summer, he comes back to the manor house only for a day or two. I can't help but wonder where he's staying in the rest of the time. The only new thing I know about him is that he's in Slytherin. Honestly, it's just a deduction. But since he comes home from time to time, that means everything. If he had been assigned to another house, my father would have killed him. Knowing he's a Slytherin comforts me. It reduces the doubt I have of being sent to another house. At the same time, I wish I wasn't in the same house as my brother even if everyone else sucks. Only so I don't have to spend most of my time around my brother. But if that happens, I'll be killed by my father.

Argh! Why do I have to go to that damn school?! It just complicates my miserable life! On top of all that, I'm going to be there in October. Well, early October, but still! And since I'm in fifth grade, I'm going to be the only one who doesn't know anyone and has a gang. They've known each other for five years, they'll never want a new girl. And since I'm a Riddle, I'm going to pretend I don't care when it's just the opposite!



The Hogwarts express, which was only driving for me, unfortunately stops. It marks the beginning of my nightmare. A nightmare, which will last for a long time, too long.