Not Evil,Just Hurt

54- Though

Draco's words resonate in my head. I don't know why, but these words make my heart beat even faster. My heart beats fast, but it doesn't hurt. On the contrary, it makes me happy. I can't help blushing.

Draco sees my red cheeks. It seems to make him laugh since he displays a big teasing smile.

He gently pulls me towards him and puts my head in the hollow of his neck. I can't help but shiver on contact with his neck. The heat and its smell make me capsize. I feel good and I never want this moment to stop.

His fingers play in my hair. His gesture is tender and delicate. For my part, I remain motionless and deeply breathe its sweet perfume. Every breath fills me with happiness. I feel good, even though I know that this feeling is forbidden to me. If my father knew that, I would be dead. I knew I should get away from him, I should stop him, but I was unable to. I knew exactly what I was risking, my life and his.

We were both in silence. There was a tension in the air. A tension of temptation and passion. It was pleasant and I knew he felt the same way. These fingers gently caress my fingers and the ring has my finger now. I shivered gently while watching him caress my hands.

I felt so good, but a part of me did not completely approve this moment. This moment I was living with him was nothing serious. We were simply sitting on the floor of the infirmary. I was sitting between his legs. His torso was glued to my back and he was playing with my fingers. Nothing unacceptable. Despite everything, I felt a certain discomfort when thinking about the evil that our moment could bring. I was so happy, but I felt guilty imagining what could happen.

I had never felt so good, but it could very well be that this moment that I greatly appreciate becomes my worst moment. We were not hidden, we were very visible. I was afraid that someone would see us and go and tell my father everything. I didn't want to lose it. I loved Draco with all my heart. I didn't want to lose him, I wouldn't be able to live without him. I never thought I would say that, but my life would not be the same without him. Every time I see it, I have this feeling of lightness. I feel like everything is fine when I'm near him. On the other hand, I had to decide what to do. I don't want one of us to be in danger. Unfortunately, the only way that comes to mind is to get away from him. That's what I had done, but I couldn't start again. I couldn't get away from him again. I didn't want it and I was absolutely incapable of it.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I no longer knew what the right solution was. I couldn't get my thoughts from that. Was not caught in my whirlwind of thoughts and anxiety. I was so stressed that I slowly started tingling my fingers. I knew I had to find a solution not to lose Draco, but all I could think of was to get away from him. I kept thinking about this all the time. My fingers were tingling me more and more. This feeling was familiar to me. When I'm too nervous, my powers begin to activate slowly. The sensation is the same as a tingling, but diffuses a little heat. The heat that this emerges is not very strong, but it is powerful enough to feel it in contact with my hand. Draco who was playing with my hands must have felt it, I was sure of it.

- Rosemarie... What's going on? I can see that something is wrong. Your hands are getting warm. You can tell me everything.

Draco told me in a soft voice.

I turned my head slightly so that I could make eye contact with him. When my eyes see his gray eyes, I forgot everything. I gradually got lost in the gray of these eyes. His face was so beautiful. The softness emanated from his face. Her blond hair was messy. Despite everything, it was beautiful.

I see Draco with a satisfying smile looking at me with these so deep gray eyes. He puts his hand on my chin and raises it a little towards him. He leans, delicately and quietly, towards me. We don't leave each other's eyes. Our eyes are glued to each other. None of us dares to take this away from our eyes. He then puts these lips on mine. These lives are so sweet. I kiss him too. Our lips are glued together. Draco's hands are delicately walking through my hair. Quietly, I put my hands on these shoulders and surround his neck. Our lips do not leave each other. The kiss becomes a little more passionate quietly. After what seems to me to have been half a second, we detach ourselves from each other out of breath.

I look down and quietly try to catch my breath. I can't look at it or I would be unable to catch my breath. I raised my head again, giving up avoiding his gaze for the time to catch my breath. I laugh slightly when I cross his eyes. I don't really know why, I'm laughing a little. I think he really makes me lose all control over me. Every time I look at him or he is near me. I can't act as usual. Everything takes me a great concentration to accomplish it, because it disillusions me. Every time, it's as if he were taking control of a part of me. I am no longer the same in his presence. When I'm with him, it looks like I can finally be me. It's as if I could finally stop acting like the girl my father wants me to be. I can be the real me with him. I don't need to pretend.

I don't want to lose this feeling. I refuse to be taken away from me. I wouldn't let my father take this away from me. I am not entirely that horrible person he wants me to be, but I have a part of me that he has. I wouldn't let him take that away from me. I'm tired of it. The real self may not be the key model of snakes, but part of me is. Even if it's only an infamous part. I have ambition and I'm tired of always having everything that makes me feel good. My ambition is strong. No one will be able to stop me in my choice. I'm tired of my father and I don't want to wait any longer. I'm going to stop my father this year.