Beauty and the Dork

Misery Loves Company

"I'm sorry, kid – he still says no visitors," Wayne said. I looked down at the Tupperware in my hand and tried to hold my tears back.

"Okay, thank you, Mr. Munson. I'm sorry for bothering you again," I replied quietly.

"I think you need to give him some space. I haven't seen him like this in a while," Wayne advised. I looked up and nodded sadly before turning on my heel and starting towards my house. "Do you need a ride home?"

"No, thank you, sir," I answered, tears streaming down my face. I picked my pace up and started walking faster.

I had been miserable for the last week.

Eddie had gone out of his way to avoid me, and I didn't blame him. Why had he wasted so much time with me in the first place? I had done nothing but delay the truth and made him feel horrible in turn. He made me feel like an actual princess, and I, in turn, made him feel like a fool. He deserved so much better than me.

He was even skipping English, something that was surprising to Mrs. Donnell. One day she stopped me after class.

"Ms. Patterson – do you know where your partner has been?" she asked. I felt the tears in my eyes well and shook my head. She sighed. "He's never been one to skip my class. I'm worried about him."

I had agreed with her but made an excuse to leave, knowing that if I kept talking about him, I would be upset.

I had tried going over to the trailer and bringing peace offerings of pasta, but I had been unable to get past the front door. Eddie was refusing to see me, sending Wayne out to turn me away. I knew it wouldn't be enough, but I just wanted a chance to talk to him. I knew I had messed up, and I needed to let him know that I was willing to do whatever it took to make it up to him.

But I understood why he wasn't talking to me, and it was unfair of me to keep pushing him.

I got home and wiped my face, trying to make my face less puffy so my parents wouldn't keep asking if I was okay. My dad had asked about Eddie a couple of times, and finally took a hint once I started crying one day. He pulled me into a tight hug and told me he would stop asking me until I was ready to talk.

"One second, she just got home – Margie, phone for you," my mom called out. I trudged to the kitchen and took the phone from her hand, setting it to my ear.

"Hello," I said wearily.

"God, you sound awful – are you sick?" Chrissy asked. I sighed.

"Kind of," I answered. I guess I was – I was heartsick. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the Sadie Hawkins dance!"

I tried not to groan. I did not want to even think about the Sadie Hawkins dance.

"Yeah?" I said lamely, pulling myself on the counter.

"I need a cute way to ask Jason, and you need to figure out who you are going to take! I know, like, six guys on the team who would kill someone to go with you," she gushed. I was so sad I could feel my bones. I sighed.

"I really don't want to take anyone on the team," I said. She groaned.

"Come on, Margot! It will be fun! You have your choice of the team – a lot of girls would want to be in your spot," she replied. I know Chrissy was sweet, but I was realizing more and more that she knew very little about me. "I think I'm going to make Jason a big poster and ask him during the pep rally this Friday, in front of everyone. Do you think he would say yes?"

"He would say yes no matter what, Chris," I said.

"I'm just nervous about doing it in front of everyone, you know? Like what if everyone laughs at me?" she mused. I suddenly sat up straight.

"Wait, in front of everyone?" I asked, an idea forming.

"Yeah, the whole school is going to be there," she answered. My mind started racing.

"I think that's a great idea, Chrissy," I said absentmindedly, working through my next steps.

"Okay, cool. Do you think you can help with the poster?" she asked.

"Yeah, for sure!" I said. "Okay, I'm going to go, Chris – I'll talk to you soon!"

Before she could say goodbye, I hung up and raced up to my room.

I knew how I was going to fix this.

---

I hated crying.

I hadn't cried since my dad went to prison for the second time – I was eleven years old, sniffling as he said goodbye. He looked at me and ruffled my hair before pulling his rings off and handing them to me.

"No more tears, bud. Be a man," he insisted. Wayne groaned at his advice, but it stuck with me. I didn't cry. I made jokes, I got angry, I pushed feelings down. But I didn't cry.

Until Margot Patterson.

I was the kind of sad that felt like there was a knot in the middle of my chest all of the time, and that my bones were made of lead. Everything exhausted me. And the smallest things made my eyes well with the tears I could have sworn I ran out of. Like, the other day, I had to take the trash out and saw the boxes we always climbed to get to the roof. Or when I rolled over in my bed and there were remnants of her perfume on the pillow she always used.

This sucked.

She had come by almost every day this week; I assume to make up with me. I refused to see her because I knew that as soon as I saw her, all of my resolve would disappear. I didn't want to be someone's secret anymore. I might not have deserved Margot Patterson, but I deserved better than that.

I sighed and climbed into Shelob, dreading school. I pretended like I didn't see Margot in the hallways, but I did. I could see how sad she was – she wasn't even faking smiles with her friends now. I so badly wanted to go to one of our classrooms and pull her in and make her feel better, but I knew better. I couldn't do the sneaking around anymore.

I parked and got out, walking as slow as I could into the school. I glanced around, watching the couples file in and hating them. I walked into the hallway and sneered when I saw a girl holding a sign to ask a guy to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

I looked down at my feet as I walked. I had always wanted to go to a school dance, but never had someone to take. A small part of me over the last couple of weeks had hoped that Margot was going to ask me, but I now knew better.

I got to my locker and looked around – I had no idea where my friends were. They normally met me here, shooting the shit with each other while we waited for the bell to ring. I leaned up against my locker and waited. I felt vulnerable as I watched people walk by.

I finally saw my friends leave a classroom – I furrowed my brows when I saw Margot walk out with them, smiling my favorite smile and talking to them. She peeled off and walked in the other direction. She was wearing a skirt today.

"Hey, buddy," Gareth greeted me. I glared at the two of them.

"Why were you guys talking to Margot?" I asked. They knew what happened. Jeff didn't even try making a joke when I told them after he saw how upset I was. Jeff shrugged.

"She had a question about English – you haven't been in class," he explained. I watched him. He was lying.

"Really?" I pushed. He looked away and cleared his throat. Definitely lying. But no one was answering me. "Whatever. I don't have the energy to deal with this."

"Eddie, take a breath," Gareth said as I started storming away from them. He caught my shoulder and turned me to him. He looked at me square in the eye. "We're on your side. You're our best friend."

I took in a deep breath and nodded at them. I knew this, but it was nice getting the reminder. Each of them put an arm around my shoulder and we walked to class together.