Bradga-OneShots♡

Sometimes we all need a hero

He looked at me with so much love, but I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't hurt him, just like me. I wouldn't. When he took my hand and looked into my eyes, with those damn perfect little dimples, I had to fight the tears in my eyes.

Bradley, I- I love you and you know that, but this, between us. I don't want you to fall apart like me. I'm losing myself right now and I really don't want that to happen to you too, just because you're with me.

His thumb gently stroked my knuckles as he just shook his head.

I don't fall apart or lose myself, neither do you.

I couldn't look at him, but looked at the floor.

I did, I already am, doing it right now. I don't want you to hurt yourself with the shit I'm going through and-

Hey!

His voice was so soothing and immediately he made me look back into the beautiful blue.

Sit down and look at me, okay? Can you do that for me?

I nodded, biting my lower lip as I did so and sat down. The world around me was forgotten, suddenly I saw only him. His thumb gently stroked my lips and immediately I stopped biting the sensitive skin, as if he had known.

I know what you've been through and god yes, I will never be able to comprehend some things the way you had experience them, but I still understand you. I know what you're going through, I can see it in your eyes. It may feel like you're losing yourself right now, like you're falling apart, but you're not. You're finding yourself again, you're finding Stefani again. You don't have to be afraid of that or scared. I got you.

It's not that. I am not scared, maybe a little bit- I just, I don't know.

For a brief moment I closed my eyes to remind myself of what I wanted to say, but then I heard him whisper some words in my ear.

You're afraid it will be too much for me, that everything will fall apart, but it won't. You know my story, Stef. You know what has happened in my life. It took a long time that I realized what I was doing, finding myself again and clearing my mind. It was a tough and long way, which I had to go, but it got a lot easier since I have you. I trust you.

You know that I do too. I trust you with my life B, but I don't trust myself.

He nodded and stroked a strand of hair from my face with his hand. It was overwhelming, that feeling of being understood.

I don't want you to feel bad because of me. I'm not easy, I know that. I know I have problems and that everything gets too much for me sometimes. I don't want you to suffer because of me. What about Lea? I don't want her to notice when I see only black again or when I give myself up again. I don't want that! I can't make your life so hard, you don't dese-

A few unnoticed tears had rolled down my cheeks and dripped onto my shirt. My voice left me.

Stef, Stef, stop. Listen to me. Don't think like that, okay. You are perfect as well as you are and-

Before I could say a word, he held his hand in front of me and raised an eyebrow, signaling me to just listen to his words.

I love you for that, I love you the way you are, every side of you. You don't hurt me or break me, whatever. You save me, you have saved me ... so many times already, every day.

Somehow my hand was on his thigh when he said that to me and I gently grabbed his jeans. He gave me support, even though I couldn't find anything in my mind that made me feel safe, he was there.

You know that I know how that feels like, that I know what it's like to lose faith in yourself. It's not bad to see only black sometimes, as long as you find your way back again. You told me so often to not be ashamed of what I feel and you don't have to be ashamed either, you hear. You are not a burden, you are the one who puts everything back together. You put me together.

I pressed my lips together and nodded with watery eyes.

Yes. You do, just that. You do that with me too. You make me whole again, so that I'm finally able to be me again, but I'm afraid it's too much for you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and it kills me to know that I could cause you any harm.

He intertwined our fingers and leaned his forehead against mine. My eyes were closed and I tried to calm my breathing, just as his.

I'm here for you, you just have to trust me. You're not a mess, no more than I am, you're a wonderful mom to Lea and you're my Stef. I promise you, with everything I have, that you won't hurt me, really, you don't have to be afraid of that. We will get through all this, together, no one has to be alone on this journey.

Okay.

I nodded and looked at him, straight in the eyes. He had this gift of making me believe everything that came out of his mouth. Every single word. If he believed in me, then I believed in myself.

I love you.

His hand was on my cheek, gently stroking my face until he came closer and pressed his lips to mine. My hand was still on his leg, the other was on his neck. It was an intense kiss, full of emotion and promise. I could feel the love, his love and trust.

I will always be by your side, forever. I will always hold your hand. I will always be here, with you, flying over all oceans just to see you, because I love you.

I don't deserve you.

That was the truth, that was what I thought. I wasn't enough for him. He was so good to me. He brought me back to life, picked up all the pieces of my heart and glued them back together. He took care of all the wounds which I got over the years and was so caring. He was perfect, he was my Bradley, yet sometimes I had these thoughts. He didn't deserve a mental mess like me, but something much better.
It was almost like he could read my mind, because his hand reached around my chin and made me look at him again.

You do, you deserve everything good in this world and you're more than enough. You are perfect the way you are. I wish you could look through my eyes and see how wonderful you are. Take a look at Lea. Everytime she sees you, she immediately starts smiling. You're her favorite. I'm so proud of you, for doing the things you do, for fighting and being so strong, simply for being you, Stef.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest into a tight hug. A tight, warm hug. I pressed my face against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I felt safe.

I love the way you call me Stef. I haven't been called that in a long time, I didn't want to be called that, but with you I- I feel understood. I love you!
I hope you know that all of this is true for you too. I would do anything for you, no matter what.

I know.

His hand ran through my hair as he smiled. A smile which also immediately made me smile.

I will be by your side until you get tired of me. The two of us against the rest of the world.

I took both of his hands in mine and slid away a little so I could look at him better.

Thank you, thank you for being my hero, the person who always saves me, who always believes in me. It means so much!

I love you!

I could feel how he gently kissed my forehead and pulled me even closer in his arms. We stayed in this position for a few moments until he kissed me again. I knew that everything would be fine in the end. He will stay and love me until my last breath.

___________
The words left me, but I had to get this idea out of my head. Something like that is going through my mind since the Oscars.