𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗢𝗼𝗽𝘀 ^ 🩷

A/N: This one shot is based off the song 'Oops' by Little Mix and Charlie Puth (linked above), it won't be everyone's cup of tea but feel free to listen to it while reading or for context on the lyrics (as the video is a lyric video), anyways, enjoy :)

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Y/N's POV, September 1993

I hate myself, sometimes I really really did because I never learnt my lesson it seems. For what felt like the millionth time I'd broken a promise I made to myself and I could never fathom out why.

The promise I made was to keep as far away from Nikki Sixx as possible. And I'd let him worm his way back into my life, let him back into me, so he was now laying next to me in my bed after spending last night together. God, help me.

Nikki and I had broken up four and a half years ago, we'd broken up after four years together and three years of friendship before that. The break up hadn't been nasty, we just decided it was better being friends, we still cared about each other but a relationship just wasn't something we could work out, even when Nikki got clean, we couldn't seem to get on the same page when it came to being together.

Though saying that, we had to be doing something right given the amount of times we'd said to never end up in bed together again, each time was sworn to be our last, though that never seemed to stick.

I needed him, there was just something magnetising about Nikki and I couldn't say what it was exactly but all I knew is I couldn't let him go. I accidentally need him, I need him all the time and I don't know what to do.

I knew I still loved him, and that's a mistake but I can't help it.

I turned my head away from where I was staring up at the ceiling towards where Nikki was laid next to me, still asleep. My mind drifted back to when we first met, and all that started this was Nikki coming up to me in 1982 at a bar saying 'what's up with you?', because I'd been sat at the bar alone, crying because my boyfriend at that time had broken up with me. We got talking, I got brought a drink and found Nikki and I had a lot in common.

That simple interaction had lead to all this, I got involved with Nikki and fell for him in the process- we messed around and I got caught up in his spell. I'm fucked, cause how do I get out of it? I don't know.

I caught feelings for him like it was nothing new, like it was just another day at the office when it was so so far from that. I'd thought I was over him, until I found out I really, really wasn't.

Now I just accept the fact that I can't get enough of him. Every time I think of him, think of us together it just makes me want him, I want him so bad, I want his hands on me, want him touching me, it drives me crazy but I know that when I think those things it's my greatest mistake, I know I'm only digging myself into a bigger hole.

Fuck him for making me love him.

What we do, always ending up in bed together isn't healthy, it isn't good for either of us. It stops us from moving on with other people, both of us have tried to be with other people but neither of us can hold relationships and there has to be a reason why. Obviously, I can't speak on behalf of Nikki but my reason is him, but that makes me think why would he let himself sleep with me if I wasn't part of his reason too?