𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 🩷

•❤️•

Nikki's POV, 1983

Being in love with someone who you know you can't have really was heart crushing sometimes, especially when that person is me in love with my friend's sister. Y/N was the sister of my old bandmate Lizzie Grey, I'd met her the same night I first met Lizzie and from the moment I laid eyes on her I was smitten with her, she was three years younger than me and Lizzie, and he was very protective of her.

I was too, because she's always shown me kindness and friendship, and was my closest friend. Every single part of me loved the hell out of that girl, but I'd never made a move on her because I never felt like I was in her league. She could do so much better than me and wouldn't be selfish, and prevent her from having that.

Lizzie knew I loved her, he'd always known I loved her. He knew before I did.  It was him bringing it up to me which made me realise I was in love with her because I'd never really been in love with anyone before, so had no true idea about what the feeling was.

He'd been encouraging me for months, years to make a move on Y/N, sick and tired of my pining but I never had the confidence to do it. Lizzie probably wanted to bang my head against a wall by now, and I wouldn't blame him. It might concuss me enough to actually make me blab it to her, because I think that's the only way I'll ever say anything now.

I've been even more hesitant to say something to Y/N because the eighteen months or so she's been dating this guy, Stephen. I'd met him a couple of times at social gatherings and he was fine, I didn't love him because I was jealous of him but didn't hate him either. I didn't know him well enough for that, and Y/N seemed to be happy with him, that's what mattered after all.

It broke my heart each time I saw them together or each time Y/N mentioned him to me but I wouldn't tell her how I felt, for my reasons so couldn't really be jealous or hurt. Didn't stop it from happening though.

My life would be easier if I didn't feel these things for Y/N, and I had tried to will them away, ignore them just move on, but couldn't regardless of how hard I tried. It was excruciating, though there was nothing I could do.

I'd never stop seeing Y/N, she was my best friend and I needed her in my life, she was good for me. Her friendship really kept me from going bad places so, pushing myself away from her would be a mistake.

Tonight, I was home alone, my housemate Robbin was out so it was just me. I was tempted to call Y/N, but knew if I did call her she wouldn't be in, she was due to go over to Stephen's tonight and that meant she'd probably be there until tomorrow morning. I wanted some company though, not even sexual, just casual.

I umm-ed and ahh-ed over calling someone from the band, Vince was out of the question because although he was at home with Beth, his wife, I knew he had Neil, his son with him this weekend, it being one of the rare occasions where Tami actually allowed Vince to see him. And I didn't want to interrupt that, and he'd say no anyway, it'd be a waste of breath.

Tommy was an option but I'm not sure whether I was in the mood for his talking and incessant bounciness tonight, and Mick wouldn't come over unless there was some kind of horrific accident and even then it'd be with the upmost reluctance. It really did look like I'd just be here watching movies alone like some saddo, but if there was no other choice, I guess it's what I'll have to do.

As I settled in front of the TV screen, flicking through TV channels until I found something worth watching, which was some movie starting in ten minutes. I got up, went to the kitchen and got myself a beer from the fridge, opened it and settled back in the couch. Watching the end of the TV show currently playing waiting for the movie to begin.