𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗙𝗼𝗿 🩷

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, Mid 1988

Sometimes Nikki really pushes himself too far, especially when it comes to writing song lyrics. I tell him to give himself a break but he rarely ever listens to me, but that's just Nikki I guess.

Ever since we first met he'd been the same, he spent hours and hours writing, making himself write because he felt like he had too. Sometimes Nikki wrote and it would come naturally to him but other times he'd be thinking too hard about it and when he thought too hard about it it meant that he didn't get as good ideas, they weren't natural they were forced and that in turn set off Nikki's perfectionism. It was a cycle he got stuck in every time he had to write for a new album.

It was admirable in a way but it did sometimes make me a little concerned, and had done since Nikki and I got together nearly seven years ago now.

He's got worse in terms of forcing himself to produce lyrics since he got out of rehab, it's like he's made himself a goal, like he needs to prove something to himself. I think he thought that he could only make good music while on drugs, but I knew that wasn't the case.

He always felt like had something to prove, he makes life harder on himself... I don't think his current circumstances are helping and I don't just mean being clean.

While Nikki was in rehab I found out I was pregnant, which I estimated must have happened just after Nikki's overdose, so over Christmas, it wasn't the most convenient timing but it had happened and we'd dealt with it and by now, Nik has been out of rehab for a little while, a month or so and I was half way through my pregnancy. He didn't freak out as much as I was expecting him too about it when I found out, I waited a week or so after I found out to tell him because I wanted him to be out of the worst of his withdrawals before I did.

He had become a little overprotective though and I believed my pregnancy mixed with his new sobriety and the desire for the next Crüe album to be the best they've put out thus far, he really had been pushing himself to write the perfect lyrics, and some days he'd be upstairs for hours writing or attempting too, he'd burn himself out if he wasn't careful and I was starting to worry about him.

I tried not to worry about him, especially given my current condition I tried to remember that Nikki could look after himself and had the capacity to know when to stop pushing himself however the perfectionist in him blurred that line and that made it hard for him to know when to take a break.

He'd been upstairs most of the day today actually, and I had been sat watching TV, after taking a call with Doc for Nikki as he didn't want to deal with the manager today, so I had a new meeting to inform my fiancé of.

When it hit three pm, I went to the kitchen and made Nikki a coffee, taking it upstairs to the desk he was sat at, with a hand in his hair looking a tad annoyed with himself.

"I brought you a coffee, you must need it after staring at that notebook all day." I muttered placing the mug on the table and kissing the top of the man's head.

"Thanks, babe." He sighed and I sat down at the empty chair beside him.

"Doc has arranged a band meeting for next Monday, he just wants to see where all of you guys are song wise and to try and for you to share what you have so you can collaborate, you can always invite the other guys over and have a songwriting day. I wouldn't mind that, I like watching you guys throw shit at each other, it's great entertainment."