𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 🩷

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, 1990

Nikki Sixx and I had known each-other for a while and by a while I mean eight years. We met in early 1982, I was staff at one of the venues Mötley Crüe played at, we met after I dealt with them backstage, Nikki and I became friends, just friends. I listened to him and when he divulged more personal details, I knew the shitty reality of having asshole step dads and trauma bonding really did wonders for our friendship.

I was close with all the guys of course, they were all my best friends but Nikki was special, everything about him was. Over the course of the last eight years, I'd had feelings for him for about five of them, maybe longer but five years ago was when I realised, he was with someone when I realised though so never told him, then he was lost in drugs, then when he got sober I never felt there was a good time because he was trying to figure his life out without drugs.

But then he met Brandi Brandt and that made it so I stayed silent yet again, so I just stayed being Nikki's best friend and I thought I could live with that, even when Nikki got engaged to Brandi I thought I could deal with it and I did... until when I was on tour with the guys last year and Brandi wasn't around.

Nikki and I were hanging out together after a show, laughing in his hotel room watching some shitty thing on TV when we got onto the topic of my asshole of a then boyfriend because the entire reason I was even with them at that point in time was because I'd jumped onto the next flight to where ever they were to get away from him.

He was aggressive and violent way too much for my liking, Nikki had told me ever since I started seeing him that I wasn't good enough for him and deserved more and that night while talking Nikki started to go on about how amazing I was and how if he ever saw anything ever happen to me at the hands of my boyfriend while Nik was around he'd kill him, with Nikki eventually saying that if he was my boyfriend he'd treat me like I deserved and the weight he said those words with stunned me and when I looked at him, there was just something in his face that I'd never noticed before. I saw the way he looked at me and realised it's the way I looked at him.

He must have noticed that same look in my eye at that moment because the next thing I knew he was leaning in to kiss me and despite the fact he was engaged, I let him because in that moment the thought of Brandi was the last thing in my mind.

We'd been secretly seeing each other for about eight months now, and I was in a constant battle with myself over the adultery we're committing by being together. Not on my end, I'd ended my relationship with my boyfriend next time I saw him after that night with Nikki.

Nik knew about my reservations about our relationship and had told me he'd end it with Brandi but had never done it, they hadn't set a date for the wedding cause since Nikki started seeing me, he no longer felt the desire to bother with it seems as, in his own words, he's got what he truly wanted, meaning me.

Somedays I really wasn't sure where Nikki's head was at because if he wanted me that badly, why was he still leading Brandi on? Maybe he liked living like this, having a playboy model for bragging rights then me because he had genuine feelings for me.

Nikki had always been a hard person to riddle out, the answer could just be he didn't want to hurt Brandi and wanted to put it off for as long as possible but the longer he left it the more it would hurt, it was delaying the inevitable.

All the negatives aside, I loved Nikki, completely and utterly loved everything about him, even his flaws. Obviously, it was going to be hard to be with him seems as he had Brandi, so I saw him whenever he was free or made himself free.