𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗔𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 🩷

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, Early 2015

I was married to Nikki Sixx from early 1990 until early 2006 when our divorce was finalized although our relationship ended in 2005.

Life with Nikki had been incredible, definitely the best years of my life that's without a doubt but things just didn't end up working and that's how we ended up here.

We had two kids together a boy, Luke born in 1989 and a girl Paisley who was born in 1990. They were the pride and joy of my life and of Nikki's too, and when we split they were both old enough to understand, they hadn't wanted us to split up but I don't think any kids wanted their parents to split up, it was just something that happened.

By now, ten years later, they were fully adjusted to how life was now Nikki and I were split up and Nikki had gone through a few different girlfriends over the last ten years, none of them I'd liked, maybe that was just jealousy though because I did still find Nikki attractive though the feelings were dormant now though I'm sure they could be rekindled under the right circumstances, a thing I didn't really want to go through given I doubt he'd ever want me back.

I don't talk to him, we have nothing to discuss and it's just awkward overall really, the kids filled me in on his life and girlfriends for a while but never filled me in on Nikki anymore, they knew I didn't really want to know and they didn't see Nik all that much anymore either, given they had jobs of their own, were living opposite sides of LA and Nikki was busy touring with Mötley Crüe.

I didn't stay up to date on Nikki's life online either, I didn't want to know what chicks he was fucking or how great his life was. Sure splitting up was a mutual decision but in honesty, I was only on board with it because I felt that he didn't want me anymore, not that I stopped loving him.

I both regret and don't regret our split, it was the right thing to do but it also still causes me some pain even now even if my feelings for him were pretty much gone from my everyday life. I hadn't seen Nikki in about six years, our kids were adults so after they moved out I had no reason to see Nikki anymore and I'd been okay with that, especially since I'd had to see him with new girlfriends after our divorce when taking the kids to his place.

There wasn't resentment on either end but there was some tension between us, given the fact once we'd split up he'd had girls significantly younger than him at his side and that made me uncomfortable.

I just think that's why our relationship fell apart, I was getting too old for him, despite the fact we were the same age. It's amazing how men will never look at women their age if they know they have the option of younger women, and it just makes you feel kinda disgusting when you know that's why a relationship ended. I knew Nikki and knew although he never said it, that's why we split up.

I couldn't look at Nik and any of the girls he's been with without feeling a little bit sick at the age differences, I loved him and I never stopped yet that didn't seem to matter in the end, he'd rather have a woman who's aesthetically pleasing than one who loves him and that's the ego he's developed over the years.

I'd known him for a long time, since there early days of the band when he was still pretty insecure about himself and I helped him see how I saw him, how beautiful he was and all of that came to nothing in the end.

I'd have stayed with Nikki until death if things hadn't have disintegrated, they were the vows we made after all. I'd have loved him regardless of age, always... yet he couldn't return me that favour and it made me feel like shit for a long long time and I try not to think about it now.