Ordinary Human Beings

22: Guess She Is

The following week after an embarrassing weekend of Yasmina possibly rejecting me, I tried my best to avoid her. It's not easy to avoid your fucking room-mate though, so my best bet was silence until I gathered up the courage to ask her.

And now I've gathered up that courage.

I stood by our bedroom door, taking deep breaths as I side eyed the girls walking past me and giving me weird looks. I have the courage on the inside, but on the outside? We'll have to see about that. Yasmina isn't scary, of course she isn't; but her response, her response? The most lethal thing ever. I'd rather walk on needles than ask her for the most brutally honest opinion. Sighing, I opened the door. I'm not scared; Yas isn't scary. She's kind. Yas is kind, she isn't scary.

She looked up from the book she was reading and gave me a smile. Holy fuck she kind of is scary.

"I've been waiting for you." She closed the book and tossed it. "You've been quiet."

Come on Kendall, tell her why you've been quiet. "So have you." And I blew it.

Yasmina chuckled. "I figured that if you were silent then you didn't want to talk, so I respected that. Is that a problem?"

"No, not a problem at all." I walked over to her bed and sat beside her. "You know, I've just been thinking."

"About?"

"I've been thinking about what happens when this thing of ours ends," I started there. "Like what happens next? Do we just become normal friends?"

She remained docile for a while before looking at me. "Why are you thinking about this Kendall?"

"I don't know."

Concerned, she frowned. "Did I do something over the weekend to make you feel this way or—"

"No, you didn't do anything, Yasmina," I reassured her. "I was just thinking the wrong way, I'm sorry."

"Don't be.  You have questions, and you expect me to answer them. I understand if you're feeling some sort of anxiety about this whole thing, but I'm here to let you know that it's okay." She grinned at me.

"Okay…so it's fine if I ask you a few questions?"

"Yes."

"What are we?' I dove straight into it, no hesitation.

Instead, she hesitated.  "What do you mean?"

"I mean us…what are we?"

As if trying to think of something to say, she shrugged. "Ordinary human beings."

"What?"

She laughed. "I mean we are humans; we breathe, we eat, we sleep and we do shit and repeat. What else are we?"

"Is this your way of gaslighting me?"

"I'm kidding, Kendall," she joked. "Are you serious about this question?"

I nodded slowly. "I wouldn't be asking you if I wasn't."

She hummed, and then rubbed my thigh. "We're just…friends that like kissing and faking a relationship to avoid drama at school. Quite ordinary if you ask me."

"Extraordinary." I closed my eyes. "Friends don't do this."

"But we are."

"We aren't friends," I told her.

"Then what are we?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it again. "I don't know."

The silence between us remained while we avoided each other's gaze. I knew something like this would happen, which is why I wanted to stay silent about this. As I thought about my actions, I gazed at Yasmina, who locked eyes with me briefly. Uncomfortably, Yasmina excused herself and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

***

"At least knock before you—" Kaitlyn quickly got out of her chair and welcomed me in, her hands holding me tight as I sniffled. "It's okay my baby, it's okay. Sit down." I sat while she took her blanket, covering me in it. She then handed me her caprisun bottle. "Take it, drink, and tell me what's going on."

"I told her how I felt."

"How you felt about what?" When Kait was met with silence, she gasped. "Jesus Christ Kendall, did she reject you? I'll have my punishments ready by tomorrow, just give me time to make the list."

"Kaitlyn."

"I have this term left, Kendall, I can make her suffer." Kait continued. "I can force her to wash the school buses, or maybe give the cleaner a break so that she can clean the prep room. How does that sound sweetheart?"

"Kait she didn't reject me, I think."

"Then why are you so stressed and why are you crying?"

"Because I feel like it's going to be a Liliana situation again."

While Liliana did show initial interest in me, it took us a very long time to get to a relationship. Our journey had a series of rejections, laughter, and many, many tears. And while Liliana and I weren't perfect and had our flaws, what solidified our relationship was our ability to communicate. It took a while, but we got there. But with Yasmina I feel like I just can't be on stable grounds with her…the relationship we have changes without warning. By this being a Liliana situation I mean I don't want it to be a situation where we miss each other at every point, and I'm afraid that's what's happening.

"Kendall I can tell that Yasmina likes you, you're just missing the point."

"How?"

"Tell that girl you like her, end of story. If it's taking this long then she's waiting for you to make the move," Kait explained. "You're still young so I understand how you're missing the point."

"She's on and off Kait, I can't tell if she likes me or not."

"Maybe she's shy."

"I hope so; I've been wanting to tell her since school started but I never got the chance," I explained. "Maybe I'll let her know before my birthday next week."

"Mom said we'll be celebrating your birthday during the weekend. I'll try and bring the cake from her here sometime on Tuesday, but your party will be on a Saturday. So invite at least ten of your friends and have fun and enjoy, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now regarding Yasmina, don't stress about this. I'm sure she does have feelings for you, who wouldn't?"

"Am I that fun?"

"Not fun, but you're a good kid, Kendall. You showed her around, put her in the spotlight and made her likable to the juniors. If anything, you're likable," Kait explained. "Just wait it out, everything will be fine. Do you have a plan on getting closer to her though? Maybe that will grow your friendship a little more."

"I was thinking of inviting her to debate next week," I suggested. "I don't like debate but…I have to be in touch with the other kids, not just the seniors."

Kait looked unconvinced. "That's the reason?"

"Yes."

"Juana…"

"Okay fine, it's because I want an edge over Sofia, " I mumbled. "I want to get under her skin and I know the best way to do it is by taking what she considers is hers."

"Don't you think it's best to just give it up? You and Sofia can co-exist, Kendall," Kaitlyn explained. "Is this just about the title, Juana?"

"No."

"Then what is this about?"

"It's about me and her, no one else," I stated. "She started it, I'll finish it."