Ordinary Human Beings

31: Midnight Love

Tossing and turning in my bed, I grumbled as the clock continued ticking, the hours solemnly passing by. One week flew by faster than I could count, and for someone who was making insane threats over a school position, Audrey didn’t do shit for three weeks. Now, we have two more weeks till Kaitlyn’s class is now free from duty, and two more till our grade has the prefects of 2026 announced. Time sure does fly by fast, and before we even get to October, I can’t let my undefined relationship with Yasmina go on. We have to define it; I don’t know how, but we will.

Struggling to sleep, I turned over to face Yasmina’s bed, the night light she always set in our room for the evening shining on her. The light fell gracefully upon her dark skin, making it a luminous shade of deep brown bathed in sunlight. I couldn’t tell if she was really asleep or not, but by the looks of it, she’s half awake.

“Yasmina?”

After a moment of silence, she hummed.

“Are you awake?”

“Awake enough to feel you staring at me, Kendall,” she grumbled, her eyes opening a bit. She hissed as her eyes fully opened, trying to adjust to the light. “Don’t be fucking creepy.”

"I'm sorry."

She laid flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. "It's fine, I can't sleep anyways."

"Me too."

She then turned to face me again. "Want to tell me why?"

"Only if you tell me why you can't sleep." I gave her a small smile.

She let out a low groan, closing her eyes. "I'm just thinking about a lot of stuff, you know."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Even if I do, will it make a difference?" She asked me. "It's stupid anyways, Kendall."

"I'll decide if it's stupid or not, Yas," I insisted. "That's if you want me to know."

"It's stupid." She turned away from me. "So stupid."

"Yasmina…"

She sighed. "Have you ever felt like you're missing out on something because you're too afraid to ask the question?"

"Yes."

"And when you get closer to asking you just curl up into a small ball and fall in a ditch to die or get eaten by a lion that has accidentally mistaken you for a meatball?"

"I don't think that's a real feeling Yasmina…"

"Or when you're walking and you trip over nothing and accidentally fall into a muddy pool?"

"I don't know what you're—Yasmina, are you reciting what happened to me after sports last term?" I sat up.

A giggle erupted from her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sleeping," I grumbled, laying back down.

"No! Kendall, I just wanted to make you laugh."

"I stained my uniform just to–"

"Prove a point to Sofia?"

"Must everything include her?" I rolled my eyes.

"Apparently so."

"We've had this conversation before; what's the problem now?"

"Nothing," she mumbled. "Absolutely nothing."

"Fine."

"Kendall?"

"Yasmina?"

"Have you ever felt like…" She paused, shuffling in her bed. "Like if certain things didn't happen the way they did, you'd be somewhere different? Like, either worse or better than you are now?"

I pondered on the question for a while, wondering where it came from. "I do."

"And does it ever bother you? Like if you hadn't made that one decision or that mistake–"

"Then you wouldn't be here where you are," I finished for her. "I have thought about it  but in the end it just makes me more grateful for my journey so far."

"Why?"

"Like you said, one decision or mistake can change everything as we know of it, and I guess I'm grateful for everything I've done wrong and right this year," I explained. "When I look back, every little thing that I've done that has changed the course of my life has either gone to shit or has become the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

"Well said. I see you've been reading nowadays?"

A smile crept up on my face. "Kind of wanted to impress someone."

"Who?"

"She's not as important right now," I lied, fiddling with my fingers. "I just wish I could get over my biggest fear."

"What's that?"

"Fear of the unknown," I mumbled. "There's something I've been meaning to do but I've been terrified."

"What are you terrified of? Surely there's nothing that scares you anymore, I've seen you in worse positions this year," she quipped.

"Like what?"

"You know."

"Valid," I mumbled. "I just find it hard to express myself to a few people; I don't want to make her–"

"Her?"

"Sorry, them." I cleared my throat. "I don't want to make them uncomfortable; we've had a rough couple of months."

Oblivious to who I was talking about, she hummed. "I understand you girl. It's not easy to get over that nauseous feeling of what you're doing is going to trigger someone. I suggest you take it easy, and if you feel really comfortable around them, ask them. It's now or never, Kendall."

Now or never.

"Hey Yasmina?"

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my place for the weekend? My parents won't be home and it'll just be Kaitlyn and I, and she'll be studying so I was just thinking maybe…" I bit my lip, anticipating her answer. "We could hang out, watch some more movies together if you'd like."

A few seconds passed, but no answer came out. I forced myself to look her way, and when I did, I could see her staring at me as well, her mouth slightly agape. She then pursed her lips into a straight line, a smile finally forming, the relief washing over my body.

"I'm down for that."

"Okay," I replied. "Is there anything you want me to get for you?"

"When?"

"Over the weekend? Like anything that would make you feel comfortable?"

She chuckled. "Kendall, we're just hanging out, it's not a date."

Taking a long shot, I replied, "And what if it is?"

Her eyes widened briefly, but then she relaxed and smiled at me. "Then there's no need to go all out for me; you're just enough." She then furrowed her brows. "Or maybe…maybe you can come over to my place for a change? I feel like it's unfair how I've been to your place a million times but you've never been to mine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Unless you're scared of leaving your sister alone?"

"Absolutely not, she can invite her man over, I'd cover for her anyway," I answered. "But are you sure you want me to come over? I don't want to be a burden."

"You won't be a burden. I'd love to host you for once; my mom and I are really good at hosting people."

"Then I'd be honored to come over, Miss Thompson," I replied. "It's a date."