For The Beta I Fell For (bl)

Realization

Time passed by slowly, a torture it was for Layle, the station was the last place he saw Keith and last time he heard his voice, making his frustration growing bigger day by day.

The little hope Layle had to hear from Keith started to fade away, Christmas eve and new year's parties weren't a helpful distraction, for he spent them curled up in his bed. The exams didn't help too, as he couldn't lift a pen or read a word.

On the day of his last exam in his class, he sat on his chair staring at the bubble sheet. He didn't take a single look at the questions before deciding to mark all the answers with c.

He waited for the exam time to pass patiently, but it slowly built up into restlessness. Looking at his wrist from time to time forgetting that he didn't wear a watch as he was not allowed to. Everytime he looks at his wrist he would ask the teacher about the time.

No one was allowed to leave before the time is up so he had to wait for an hour. Waiting with restlessness taking over his body and tears gathering in his eyes, the anger he had towards himself started to get bigger all of a sudden.

He didn't know why he felt like he could punch himself at that moment. For him every simple matter had the biggest impact on him and it freaked him out. If waiting for another hour almost sent him into a meltdown, then he didn't know what to do if something serious happens.

When it was time to turn the papers and pass it to the teacher. Josh and Zain came to his desk in hurry knowing that Layle would leave without saying a word if they don't stop him.

"How did you do?"

"Bad."

Getting his things from the desk and picking up his bag, Layle stood up to leave before Zain gets to yank his bag from his shoulder.

"Can we talk? Stop running away from us. Even Caro is doing better than you."

Layle turned his face to look at Caro's spot. She was laughing with a classmate. Her hair was put into a perfect ponytail, freshly washed. Her clothes were ironed. No dark circles under her eyes. And pinkish gloss brightened her lips. Layle wondered if Caro loved Joey as well then why is she not as mad as him? why is she looking good and doing good?

When their eyes met her smile faded, as if she remembered something that she saw in the sadness of his eyes. She looked away continuing her talk with her classmate, but the curiosity took over Layle who ignored his friends and went to her desk slamming a book on it.

"Don't you love him?"

He asked with a calm voice, but the anger shown on his face was obvious to make her believe that at that moment he was angry at her.

"You avoid us for a month not showing for new year's and leaving school before we get to talk and this is the first thing you say? I'm sorry would be a better word."

He scoffed.

—

On the rooftop he went to the wall, it was high but not high enough for him to not jump and sit on it giving his back to ground, one push and he would be severely injured.

"Didn't Keith warn you many times not to sit on the wall."

Caro said putting her arms on the top of the wall lifting herself up to look at the yard.

"Well.. he is not here anymore."

"He is doing good, you know."

Layle looked at her to notice a tear about to fall from her eye.

"I talk with Joey sometimes, he said Keith is doing fine. Joey is doing fine too, that's if you care."

"Why are you crying then?"