(Guide Us to) A Million Stars

39

"Let me get this straight...his parents said that Tae could marry whoever he wants?"

I nodded at my sister. We were strolling down the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, enjoying the Christmas decorations. The sun was setting into the Pacific Ocean allowing the holiday lights to twinkle and take full effect. I missed this part of the Christmas season back in Seoul because of the lockdown.

"So why would Tae say you would bring shame to his family?" Addy asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. A lump formed in my throat. "I guess...he never really loved me."

"Why don't you just ask him? You can text him, right?"

We stopped in front of the shopping center's 24 foot tall Christmas tree and admired the majesty of the holiday spectacle. Fake snow surrounded the trunk with various sized boxes wrapped in shiny paper. I scoffed at Addy's suggestion.

"I can't ask him. If he really wanted me to know the reason, he would have told me the truth back in Korea. He's hiding something..." My voice caught in my throat. "But what is it? Why didn't he tell me the truth?"

"What a jerk!" she said a little too loudly among the small crowd gathering. "Lying to you just to save face?"

I sighed. "To be fair, I was the one who gave Tae an ultimatum. Maybe I scared him off. Maybe he didn't know how to react because he hadn't thought about our future. Too much pressure, you know?"

Addy exaggerated a slow nod. "Oh yeah. What you did was terrible. How dare you ask a guy about the status of your relationship?"

I nudged her hard in the ribs and she faked grimaced from the pain. "Seriously. I don't know Tae's side of the story."

"So ask him." Easily distracted, Addy noticed a basket hanging from the post of a low fence around the Christmas tree. "Look! It says here you write down your wish on a piece of paper and tie it to the mistletoe. When you hang it on the tree, it will come true."

She grabbed two pieces of paper and handed one to me. We both took pens from our purses and scribbled on the paper. "What did you wish for?" I asked as we walked closer to the tree.

"I can't tell you."

"Does it have to do with a guy?"

"Does your wish?"

We looked at each other knowingly then burst into giggles. Of course, I wished that I could know what Tae was thinking. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he thinking of me? And why did he want me to meet up with him again? I was starting to like him again and I guessed he liked me too. Ultimately, what I wrote on the piece of paper that I was tying to the mistletoe, was that I wanted Tae and I to become girlfriend and boyfriend again. It would be different this time. I would make sure of that.

As I tightened the string on the branch, my hand hit a big red bauble hanging nearby. It slipped, fell, and shattered on the concrete below. To my surprise, tears welled up in my eyes. Addy noticed when she peered at me.

"Suni! It's only an ornament. Let's ask someone to clean it up."

I wiped some tears from my cheeks and sniffed. My shoulders trembled as I cried, covering my face. I felt Addy's arms around me, comforting me with a hug. "It's not about the ornament, is it, Suni?"

I nodded as I took a tissue from my purse and dabbed my eyes. Could I really handle this roller coaster of emotions Tae was putting me through?

***

On December 24, Tae released a single for the K-Drama, "Our Beloved Summer." It sounded familiar and brought back some bittersweet memories. I texted Tae 🎄🎶💜. A few minutes later he texted back "Do you like it?" in Korean characters.