Mrs Scuderi

chapter forty nine

Amelia's Pov
I let her drive us back because she insisted. I watched her sleep and in that moment i realized that maybe that's all I want. To be by her side no matter what. It's true that i don't regret what happened between us on that beach because I'm tired of asking myself what if before it's too late. She's a fucking mess but that's why we work. I don't want something safe and perfect if it means i have to give her up because maybe she's my imperfect unsafe something. "Are you sure?" She asks for the third time. "I will throw you out the window if you keep asking me that. Clearly moaning your name wasn't clear enough,"i say playfully making her face curve into a smile. I'd be excited to if the person i was madly in love with felt the same. I mean i am, but what about Freya. She was right all along.

"Why did you never choose me?"

"Because you're not just any girl i can learn to love, your name is engraved in my heart and it burns every time I see you hurt or in pain because of me. I wasn't where you were emotionally,"she says focusing on the road before her free hand finds its way to my lower thigh.

"Then why now?"

"Because if you keep waiting until you're done 'working on yourself' before you let yourself be with the person you love, you're never going to be with them. And they'll find someone else whose brave enough to give them a chance to love them exactly how they are,i should know," she says and i think that's the deepest thing she's ever said to me.

"Stop the car,"i command.

"What?"

"Just stop the bloody car,"i say and she stops. I unbuckle my seatbelt and pull her in for a passionate kiss that leaves us gasping for air when I pull away.

"What was that for,"

"i wanted to confirm something,"i lie but she sees right through me, tilting her head to the side waiting for the actual answer.

"Do you know how long I've waited for you to say something like that?"

"I'm sorry i took so long,"she says genuinely making smile ear to ear. This might be the best night/day of my life. We drive in silence with both of us in our heads about each other before she ons the radio and a familiar song comes on making us both turn to face each other. This was the song i practically forced her to like when we were together. I made it our song despite her saying it's too sappy.
This is definitely a sign then. I think to myself.

Amerò gli sbagli
Che farai nei miei confronti
Asciugherò i tuoi pianti
Proteggerò i tuoi sogni
Mi tufferò a salvarti
E ti stringerò le mani
Poi rideremo negli abbracci
E ci capiremo nei silenzi
Indosserò i tuoi panni
Anche se mi staranno stretti
E ti difenderò se tu vorrai odiarmi

(I will love the mistakes
What will you do towards me
I will dry your tears
I will protect your dreams
I'll dive in to save you
And I'll hold your hands
Then we will laugh in hugs
And we will understand each other in the silences
I'll wear your clothes
Even if they fit me tight
And I'll defend you if you want to hate me)

It continues playing with me singing along because i really love this song and she surprises me by joining in. When we get to the house the staff is already cleaning up the garden and I'm glad she didn't drinks down her grief because Ariella needs her more than anything else right now. "You two are inseparable huh?" She asks making us both turn to face her. Shouldn't she be back in prison right now?

"Relax the farlow is 24hours and i mean no harm,"

"Oh Gianni, it's always two eyes wide open with you,"i scoff remembering how she almost killed her daughter just so she wouldn't be with me. "Ladies can we not? Mom the officers will pick you up early in the morning because i can't drive you, i have a train to catch,"she says before walking away to presumably be with her niece, leaving us both there.

"I umm should get some sleep,"

"so you don't care that she killed your child?"

"No you killed my child Gianni, because you just couldn't stand the thought of her being loved more than you love her,"i say genuinely. She's never loved or accepted her for who she is. "Look i don't have time for this, i forgive you and i hope you find peace,"i say walking away to where Fabiana was and ask if could crash here for the night. I find her in her room cradling the baby softly. She's a whole different person around her. It makes me understand why she really wanted kids, to show them the love that she craved for from her mom. "Heyy," i say half whispering.

"She's asleep don't worry,"she says guesturing for me to come closer and there she is, peacefully sleeping.

"Can i umm stay here for the night?"

"That's without question, you can even sleep in here with me,"she says but i don't think I can until I've talked to Freya. I can't just jump from her bed to this bed, I'm not like that. She sees my discomfort and leads me to the balcony sliding the glass door because it's chilly. "I can't go further with this until I've talked to Freya," i say and her excitement is quickly wiped off her face.

"How long will that be?"

"I'll tell her first thing tomorrow when i land,"

"Land?you're not coming with me?"

"I have an early meeting i rescheduled and i can't miss it,"i say genuinely. I'd do anything for her including putting off a billion pounds client. "I understand, you have things to do," "Hey, this doesn't change anything about what happened, I really want to be with you again,now that we know better,"i say tiptoing to kiss her and she meets me half way, smiling into the kiss.

"Then take the bed I'll sleep on the couch,"

"No it's your bed, I'll take the couch,"

"Or we could stop this nonsense and just sleep in the bed together. I promise nothing will happen,"she says reassuring me and i agree because I'm just exhausted and want to lie down for a while. She personally gives me one of her t-shirts that i like to steal and i go change into it before coming back to her fully changed in pajama trousers and a loose white low cut tank top. She really did mean it. I get in the bed letting her have the right side where cute baby Ariella's crib is. "Does that mean you'll accept the responsibilities that come with this?"

"Ofcourse it does, unlike your hot ex girlfriend I want the best for Ariella,"i say genuinely. Maybe it might encourage me to have my own.

"so you thought she was hot?"

"She's a model Fabi Ofcourse she is,"i say making her chuckle in the moonlight filled room, it's quiet so I drift off to sleep easily but not before she mumbles something, "Well you're the hottest,"she says. So cheesy.