Only You (Under Editing)

~FORTY- TWO~

LORCAN'S P.O.V

Guilt and regret. Those two words could define the state in which my mind was. My thought process felt like being blocked, blocked from thinking or processing whatever happened in the last few hours.

I opened my rooms door entering inside and the first thing I realised was how the whole room was filled with her soft fragrance. The room which used to be always cold and dark now had a different warmth and brightness around it, even with no lights in the room it felt so calm and peaceful unlike when it was used by only me. Not only this room but the whole house is always lingering in her warm and soft feeling. The house which was just some luxurious looking building for the status of Italy's famous don was now a home, our home.

I dropped my coat on the bed and walked inside the washroom. Opening the tap I splashed the cold water on my face and brushed fingers through my hairs putting them back looking in the mirror.
I dropped my coat on the bed and walked inside the washroom. Opening the tap I splashed the cold water on my face and brushed my fingers through my thick locks putting them back. I stood in front of the mirror rolling the sleeves and came outside.

Making my way to my study I loosened the tie around my neck taking it off and kept it on my wooden desk. There was a small square shaped frame of Sierra placed there. I have many different frames of her kept in other rooms too, to others it'll seem a mere obsession but for me it's a feeling of calm and secureness Whenever I see her, I feel at ease within seconds.

I picked the frame and sat on my chair leaning a bit back. She looked happy in the picture as she had her tongue stick out a little and squinted her eyes making a cute expression. I traced her face and the corner of my lips curled up staring at her soft features. Normally a human needs oxygen to live but it's Sierra without whom I can't even imagine myself. But now when the reality has turned out to be so freaking twisted I'm numb totally and couldn't even think anything ahead.

My smile fell as today's event started replaying in mind slowly, this precious beauty who had steal every beat of my heart, who melts me with her smiles, who makes me feel relieved by her soft giggles, for whom I can go lengths without giving a damn about anything or anyone because she is the light of my life. I can fight the whole world for her love and do anything to keep her safe in my arms but the harsh truth is that she doesn't belong with me, we don't belong together.

I placed her frame back carefully, my own thoughts were piercing my heart again and again but it didn't matter how much painful and heartbreaking those were because now that was the new reality of our relationship and I couldn't deny it no matter how badly I wanted to but I couldn't.

I never thought that my sisters sudden return would take my and Sierra's relation to such a complex dimension. Seeing Isabella after so many years made me feel happy and relieved but what came with her has shattered me completely and I fear it will do the same to my and Sierra's relationship, destroy it about which I can't even imagine. I'm a very selfish and pathetic man to think this but now I wish Isabella would've never came back in my life because I can afford being shot straight in my head but I can't afford loosing my baby at any cost.

I really don't know how should I exactly feel about the whole situation, for Sierra I'm happy as she finally got her mother back after so many years. My precious little one looked so happy when she saw Isabella as if she got the missing piece of her puzzle. I've never seen her this happy before which showed how much she loves her but the sad truth is that the person who happens to be her mother is also my sister which makes her my neice, the neice I craddled in my arms once, the little stranger who captured my heart with her cute innocence and lovely talks.

I just realised it today that the cute tiny angel I met years ago in Maldives was none other than my own girlfriend. Everything makes sense now that why I felt such a deep connection towards her from the day I saw her in London, it's such a wierd feeling that I've took my Sierra in my arms and also played with her on the beach. I could never forget that day, it is one of those I'll cherish till my last breath because it was with my little Sierra. I thought the first time I saw her was the last time and it was painful seeing her go away from me because after my mother's death she was the first person who became the reason of my happiness. I wished to see her once again and spend time with her because I saw her as my little neice and I wanted to be the best uncle for her and give her everything but Isabella took her away from me thinking I would hurt her.