She'll be fine.
That fucking long?
I don't understand why someone would do those such things with a kid? Leon was a teenager when he left for abroad, but still! I can't imagine how terrible the situation was for him.
"How did you overcome it?" Parang pinipiga ang puso ko.
Hindi ako makatingin ng deretso sakanya. It's too painful. I can feel every wickedness the old man did to him.
"He eventually saw my potential. He forced me to enter United States Navy, and I served there for six years."
"I got the rank of first lieutenant," he plays with my hair.
"You did a good job." Kumento ko.
"I had to. Because even inside the camp, he has people who report every movement I do. I never had freedom in the last seventeen years."
"I earned everything I have now. I don't just inherit it. I fucking work my ass off to prove myself."
Tumingala ako sakanya, "I'm really sorry if you had to gone through that," kahit maliit na ngiti ay hindi ko maibigay sakanya.
He touched my lower lip.
"And I'm sorry if I broke my promise, maybe if I came early, you did not marry him. Maybe I saved you."
I bit my lower lip.
Umiling ako. Wala ng lumalabas na boses saakin dahil nagpipigil nanaman ako ng luha. Paano niya pa ako nagagaawang isipin? Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan niya, mas malala pa ang nangyari sakanya.
Malayo ang buhay na tinahak naming dalawa. Magkaiba. Hindi tugma. All along, I thought he was fine. I thought he's enjoying the best life that this world could offer. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.
"I promise that I will never ever leave you again," he kissed me on my forehead.
"I'll do everything to protect you."
Dinudurog ako ng bawat salita na 'yun.
When there was no one who protected him. When there was no one who stayed when he needed someone to run to. When he was Hopeless. When he felt abandoned. When he needed to be loved. When he was alone. How I wish I was there to say the same thing to him.
Kulang nalang ay magdugo ang labi ko. He wiped me tears. Nakapikit lang ako habang dinadama ang bawat init na dumadaloy sa kamay niya.
Everything that I said to Tatay.... mali ako. I can't leave Leon. Ang dami na niyang pinagdaanan, I can't be selfish to him. I just can't think of myself leaving him. It will shatter me a million times.
I can't be the reason why he stopped believing that life is worth living.
Hinawakan niya ako sa baba ko. He slid his fingers to my nape,"Mababaliw ako kapag nawala ka saakin." Namamaos ang boses niya.
Our nose touches. Nagpapalitan kami ng hangin at parehong hinahabol ang mga hininga.
Kalmado ang puso ko sa tuwing magkalapit kami ng ganito.
Pumikit ako habang dinadama ang init ng hininga niya. Nang aakit iyon at nakikipaglaro saakin.
Inilihis niya ang mukha niya saakin at bumaba iyon sa leeg ko.
"I don't want that again," lumunok siya.
"So please,don't leave me."
Hindi ako kumibo. I stayed silent and let my arms around his neck. I could feel his heart beat, it was fast and slowly getting normal.
