𝐌𝐫. 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐧

：𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐎𝐧𝐞

I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes.

Gently massaging my temple, I squinted trying to adjust my blurred vision. I was very grateful for the curtains being halfway closed otherwise the sunlight probably would've made this splitting headache worse.

Glancing around the room my heart plummeted. This was Nyx's room. Fuck. I needed to leave.

I knew I had to face him at some point but that point wasn't now...or at least not until I had actually gathered my thoughts. I didn't know what I would say to him face to face. I didn't know whether I would apologize first or cry. Maybe both.

Getting to my feet I clutched the bedside table regretting getting up so quickly.

There was no use in trying to locate my things because one: I didn't know where the hell they were and two: I needed to get out of his room now.

"You're planning on leaving again without saying shit? Is it becoming a habit of yours Remi?"

I swallowed.

"Just...just let me leave then we'll talk about this another time" I whispered, hating how close he was getting.

"No," he states firmly. "You're not running. At least not anymore. We're hashing this out now whether you want to or not. Because clearly if we don't you can kiss whatever the fuck this is goodbye"

My eyes flickered to his. He was completely done with my bullshit.

"What do you want me to say Nyx? I'm sorry for running away that night after getting fucking kidnapped by that fucking murderer?"

I shook my head, "whether you want to believe me or not I don't care because you haven't been completely honest with me either Nyx. That man killed Amir—do you know what it was like seeing his lifeless body and limbs fucking twisted surround by his own blood? I needed space and I knew you wouldn't give me that so I had to leave quietly. I knew the way I had left wasn't right especially after being your first but I really needed to. To be honest I wanted nothing to do with you after seeing you completely unfazed standing over that guy's battered body with that tainted gulf club in that picture. If anyone through what I did that day I'm sure they wouldn't even fucking step a foot back into this city. It messed me up Nyx, I couldn't sleep or eat for days because I was terrified that I might be next and at the same time I was so hung up on missing you. Please understand that I was in pain. I never meant to ruin things. I never meant to ruin us."

"You're right. I haven't been completely honest with you but it's for your own safety which was clearly jeopardized because of my stupidity. I'm no better than him. I kill. But never the innocent. Anyone who has died by my hands fucking deserved it. I never wanted you to go through shit like that, and it fucking kills me I wasn't there to prevent it from happening. I'm no fucking Saint Remi. I want to change for the better, I really do, but I can't. Not when I'm fucking stuck in the Mafia."