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Nine months went by since that night, and you never found yourself more alone.
There were the nights were you couldnt sleep just right. Where you had to stay on the phone with someone anyone to clear your mind. You thought about him almost every minute of the day.
It'd been five months you of you waiting endlessly worried on countless nights just up, wide awake. Waiting...to hear anything from him. The other four...well those were all a blur until now.
Without Toji around the house was a little quieter. It almost felt completely vacant. All of his things were left behind, but there were no signs of the man you loved. Nothing at all.
You hated to admit to yourself that you were slowly starting to fall back into the hole you dug yourself out of. It was getting harder to eat, or sleep even with Nanami's help. When he tried cleaning up around the house he'd ask if you wanted to wash Toji's things. It was always the same answer. No.
You didnt want to alter anything from the last time he were here. Itd be like erasing evidence from a crime scene. Like erasing Toji from your life.
His things still smelled like him. All of his clothes and such. Peices of his hair left in his brush that he almost never used. The smell of his body wash sitting idle in the shower. The sheets even...had his scent. You just couldnt get rid of him. You loved him entirely too much and you hoped he knew that.
Wherever he were.
Nanami gave you a longing glance twisting the jacket he scooped off the coat rack as he tried to think of what to say or rather how to say it. Even though he recongized you as a close friend, or even thought of you like one it was hard to actually behave as just a friend. He couldnt stay too long he told himself, but leaving you here alone was getting harder and harder.
Since, he'd been on his own for so long and he'd gotten used to your company. Everyone had been released until Kurosaki healed properly. So the two of you had a bunch of free time together. Sometimes, Nanamin even stayed over. Other times you stayed with him and his daughter. But you always slept on the couch. You couldnt bring yourself to lie beside someone other than Toji in bed.
You turned over on your side looking at him with tired eyes. He peered back down at you feeling your forehead for a fever. Sometimes your body was alarmingly hot. Other times, too cold. He noticed that very quick during his visits. He looked into your eyes hoping that maybe you'd get the strength to get better.
