Enigmatic | HS

26 | Stay

Tilly Taylor:

It's been two days since Harry asked me to come on tour with him, two days and two sleepless nights of figuring out what the hell I'm going to do. This is a offer of a life time, to travel parts of the world I could only dream of, will I really let my anxiety's stop me or will I finally climb out of my small comfort bubble that is my boring life?

Im currently finishing up a rather heavy work out session with Rosie before we head out to brunch like we usually do, she's been rambling on about her new book she's working on, a forbidden love kind of tale. I've been zoning in and out between her talking not that I mean too I just can't focus right now, I got off the treadmill 20 minutes ago but it feels like my mind is very much still on it running a million miles per hour.

I nod and agree when she asks me things trying to stay in the loop of the conversation, we head out the gym door freshly showered and stomachs rumbling for some food. I'm so spaced out I don't think I've even eaten much in the last 48 hours, I know Harry will be waiting for my answer as I left him with a maybe, he hasn't text or called to pressure me. Come to think of it I haven't heard from him since the hike, the only thing he did mention about it, was everything would be taken care of like plane tickets and hotels incase I was worried about it.

I would basically be paid to travel the world and stay in places for free, sounds like a fevered dream if you ask me.

" anyway I'm on the final chapters but I need somewhere quiet to write them, could I maybe crash at yours for a couple days maybe even a week whilst I finish them? "

" uh huh "

" I don't even think you heard me then, you've been like this all morning what's going on in that pretty little head of yours "

We both walk in to our favourite little cafe breakfast spot round the corner from the gym, Rosie's sudden question and worried expression knocks me out of my overthink cycle I've been in all morning.

" well uh Harry asked me to come on tour with him as his personal PT "

I fiddle with the menus in front of me as I tap my foot on the floor, I can't seem to stay still or shake this feeling of slight panic in my chest, if anyone would know what to do and be honest about it, it would be Rosie.

Her eyes light up as her jaw drops in excitement, she had the total opposite reaction to what I thought she was going to have if I'm honest, I was expecting her to say it would be stupid to drop everything and fly off with a man I barely know to foreign places, or maybe that's what I wanted her reaction to be so I couldn't go.

" oh my gosh that's amazing, please tell me you said yes! " she claps her hands together, looking like a giddy child on Christmas.

" I haven't decided yet, it's a bit sudden and well I can't quit my job and depend on Harry and then what about pumpkin " I trail off a list of reasons to why I can't go.

" excuses, excuses all minor details that can be worked out no problem, I'll happily house sit and you can tell your job you're going solo for a bit but will be back "

" Harry did say it would be a good way to tick some things from my list " I bite the inside of my cheek a nervous habit I have to rid myself of or I'll have no cheek left.

" what list? "

My stomach drops and the guilt makes itself at home in my chest as Rosie looks at me with curious eyes, in the chaos of what once was my calm life, I have completely forgot to tell her about the bucket list or maybe I avoided it on purpose to save myself from the embarrassment of explaining to another person why I hadn't done simple childhood things like everyone else had.