The McKay Boys

35| galère•

"We come into the world worse for the wear. But the wars of our fathers are not ours to bear."

Chapter Theme Song: 'Are You With Me' by Nilu.

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Ashton

I had nothing to lose. Absolutely nothing. My adoptive parents didn't want me. And the people before and after them didn't want me either. So, if I were to shed blood and be caught...it didn't matter at all.

And so as Amelia McKay stood in front of me with that innocent gleam in her eyes and that frown etched upon her face, my trembling fingers reached the tip of the knife snuggled in the back pocket of my navy trousers. The navy trousers that didn't quite match the black jacket I wore because, Erwin, didn't care enough to buy me things and I didn't fancy jackets and trousers because what sense did it make to own dinner suits when you only served at diners and worked at under-paid delivery joints?

But then as I began to pull the shiny blade up, her hand reached out suddenly as she trailed the tiny set of fingers down the side of my hair, and I froze.

"It's okay..." She whispered so tenderly I felt goosebumps pepper my flesh. I stared at her. "Someday...everything will make perfect sense." And then she smiled, so brightly her entire face lit up and little holes formed in her cheeks and all she needed now was a bright halo above her head. Her smile triggered something inside of me. Then my vision began to blur and my head went fuzzy with one of those same old painful memories.

A little girl, my big sister, sitting on the old tattered mat, her eyes big with care and her lips pursed tightly as she stroked the side of my hair. Then her lips pulled back in a big grin as she said: Don't worry. Someday, it will all make perfect sense. You're too young now.

"Ah..." I held my chest as a sharp pain struck right through my beating organ, stealing my breath for a moment. I backed up against the wall, panting. Amelia stepped closer to me, but I didn't want her near me. I reached a hand out. "Don't. Don't come near me."

That frown again. Deeper this time. She reminded me of her. Too much. "Why? What's happening, Ash?"

Don't call me that!

"Nothing. I just don't like your perfume..." I sputtered, and her face morphed into embarrassment. She smelled herself, and I pushed past her, stumbling out of the room and to the bathroom down the hall. I slammed the door behind me and pressed my hands against the edge of the sink, breathing through my nose. My chest tightened, then loosened, then tightened again, and I flipped the tap on to wash my face.

"Come back to your senses, come back to your senses, Ashton..."

I swallowed to moisten my parched throat and lifted my head to the mirror, watching the droplets as they slid down my face, shimmering beneath the pale lights above my head. I reached for the glasses I rested on the sink and put them on again. My jaw flexed. "Come back to your senses. It doesn't matter if she reminds you of her. She left you anyway..."

The reminder hardened my heart like heated gold, and I tipped my chin, smelling the awful stench of blood again. It didn't matter if she reminded me of my sister. It didn't matter at all. They were two different sides of the same coin.

I stepped out of the bathroom and returned downstairs. I needed fresh air, and I needed it now. The raw scent was still ever alive and I just couldn't bear it. I stepped out onto the chilly foyer, and chattering coming from the left of me pulled my attention immediately.

The McKay brothers, Amelia, another boy, and two other girls were gathered at the outside hammock. It was a bit dark with only the moonlight, the backyard bulbs, and one of the triplets' white phone lights. Khalil. I knew because his hair was gelled back from when I saw him earlier. When he and Amelia were whispering in the bathroom almost like two lovebirds. I wondered if their parents knew. How weird their relationship was. I was sure that what he felt for her wasn't an ordinary, sibling love.