Need - Jude Bellingham

24

I was in the shower for a good half an hour, not ready for the cold air to hit me once I left but eventually turning it off after psyching myself up.

I grabbed a big white towel off the rack, wrapping it around me tightly and tucking the end in, rolling it over so it'd be extra secure and I'd have both hands free. I picked up the pile of clothes and slipped my sliders back on, almost leaving my phone behind but turning back around to grab it, seeing now eight missed calls from Jude.

I unlocked the door, poking my head out to check nobody was there and then standing still for a few seconds to try hear if anyone was coming up the stairs. When my ears were met with silence, I used that as my chance to leg it over to my room, shifting my stuff to the other hand to open it.

To my surprise, Jude was sat on the edge of my bed, head in his hands as his knee bounced. He looked up at me hopeful when he heard the door open but his eyes looked bloodshot which made me wonder how red mine must be right now.

"You had me panicked. Are you okay?"
I nodded, still staying glued to the spot, unsure of what to do or say.
"Look I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I know you don't see Alejandro like that, I was just pissed off but I should've waited til I weren't annoyed, to talk to you about it."

I shrugged, finally closing the door behind me, "It's okay. You kind of had a point."
"It doesn't matter whether I had a point or not, I shouldn't have shouted at you about it. I'm sorry," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as I felt a smile creep onto my face.

"It's okay Judas. Turn around, let me chuck some clothes on quick."
He smiled, the stress marks on his forehead fading as he climbed onto my bed properly, laying on his stomach and facing the headboard so I'd have some privacy.

I threw the pile of clothes, along with the metal tin, into the wardrobe before double checking he wasn't looking and putting underwear on and then shorts and a jumper. I placed the towel over the back of the desk chair before laying beside him.

He turned to face me, smiling faltering, "Are you okay?"
I nodded despite the tears welling in my eyes. Why the fuck was I always crying nowadays?
He pulled me in for a hug, my head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around my frame, "You're always welcome to talk to me you know? Whenever you're ready."

I trembled slightly, no longer fighting the tears and making his navy t-shirt turn black. He placed his chin on my head, rubbing my back.
"If I tell you something," I wiped my nose, catching my breath, "Please don't get mad. I regret it already but I'm panicking and I don't like you not knowing and I just-"
He intwined his fingers with mine, interrupting my rambling, "I'm all ears Alli, talk to me."

"I did it again."
His eyes softened before worry flashed through them as he looked my wrists over then let out a sigh of relief, "You smoked? And that was it?"
I nodded and he pulled me back into him, stroking my hair.

"It's okay. We've got this yeah? Just because you've done it once doesn't mean you'll be back on it properly. Would you want to see somebody about it?"
I shook my head and heard him hum, "Forget I asked then, it's alright. I've got you no matter what, remember that."

I shuffled in his grip to look up at him, laughing lightly despite my watery eyes, "I think I might love you Jude."
He kissed my forehead, "I know I love you Ayodele. I would've said it earlier but I didn't want to freak you out."
I laughed at that, pulling his face towards mine and letting our lips meet.

I pulled away first, smiling and falling back into my pillow, letting him lay in between my legs, arms wrapped around my waist and chin on my stomach.
"You're always gonna be perfect Dele. It doesn't matter what you do or say; you'll always be perfect for me. Don't be scared to tell me things."