Need - Jude Bellingham

49

"Dele come on man," Jadon threw a pillow at me in another attempt to wake me up. We'd been binging movies until the early hours of the morning and I was the first to have fallen asleep.

I groaned, using that pillow to cover my head, "Let me chill."
"Stop being depressed, you're going out today."
"Says who?" I pulled a face at him, watching him laugh.
"Kian said he'd be over in a bit, I also heard someone got the train down here."

"It's too early for this, just say who."
He shrugged, walking into the kitchen with a smug smile as I let out another sigh before rising to my feet and trudging over to my bedroom.

My room was big, definitely an upgrade to the box room on campus, with a double bed, a vanity and one of them wardrobes that went across a whole wall. I had added my own few touches: posters, candles and plants; along with many duvets to make my bed as comfy as possible seeing as that's where the majority of my time would always be spent.

I had an en-suite as well; I've been living the bougie lifestyle, I know. I washed my face, brushing my teeth and then moisturising before taking myself back over to my vanity and dotting some concealer here and there. My skin was mostly clear but never one colour so I'd be wearing concealer for the rest of my life unfortunately.

My hair got braided again not long ago and I treated myself to some natural looking lash extensions with the new money I had coming in so getting ready took me no longer than ten minutes now.

"You want a tea?" I heard the footballer shout over the noise of the kettle already boiling.
"Please," I shouted back, shooting him a smile before closing my door so I could change.

I didn't want to wear anything nice as we'd probably be playing football and if not, I'd hit the gym on the way back anyway- I'm living a new lifestyle, don't worry I'm still getting used to it too.

I put some gym shorts under a pair of baggy grey nike joggers due to it being England and a comfy jumper over my sports bra. We won't talk about the fact that the jumpers Jude's.

Me and him haven't spoken in a while and to be completely honest, it was killing me. I knew I was the one that initiated it had to be over but that was only because I had to. The way he was treating me was becoming embarrassing and perhaps it meant he'd take this a bit more serious if he knew I wasn't scared to leave.

It sounds wet but I do still want us to be friends. Obviously I'm always gonna fancy him and I want us to try again in the future but I couldn't commit to that until I saw some changes.

It wasn't all his fault, a lot of things came into play with my final decision but it just seemed like the whole universe was against us. The distance was a pain, both of us were busy with our careers progressing. I hope things carry on going well for him, I really do. But I couldn't lower my standards and self respect for him. I had to pattern up.

I did wonder how he was feeling; whether he was missing me as much I was him. It sounds bad but I kind of expected him to have text me by now- either just to check in on how I was or to say sorry and ask for another chance. About time I got humbled tbh so it's okay I guess. (a/n: i'm sorry this whole chapter is just me lol xx)

Jude pov:
"Jude," Mum shook me again before turning on my light, making me groan and turn over, "Come on baby, you got practice in a few hours. Usually you'd be up and about by now."
Every-time she looked at me, it was with pity. I was fucking over it all.

"Not in the mood."
"I can see that but you're not messing up your future over this. What's meant to be will be, it'll sort itself out. Come on, get up. I'll start breakfast."

After a few minutes, I finally left the warmth of my bed to jump in the shower, grimacing at myself in the mirror. I hadn't had a fresh trim in weeks, that's how you know shits been bad.