Need - Jude Bellingham

44

!!! guys he didn't cheat, if confused i replied to someone's comment explaining it so check the last chapter mb !!!

———

The uber back to campus was slightly awkward due to our decision we made seconds before getting in, and the driver being an outright weirdo.

It was around midnight when we got in.

"When does the just friends thing start?" I asked him nervously after saying thank you for him holding the front door for me.
His eyebrows furrowed, "Not until I leave right? Or do you wanna like, practice? I don't know."
"You're mine until you leave," I confirmed smiling, kissing him quickly before heading upstairs.
"I'm always gonna be yours Dele."

I groaned, "Don't say shit like that."
He followed me into the bedroom confused, "Why?"
"Because we won't be just friends when you leave unless both of us stick to it. How'd you like it if I started claiming my man my man days before you leave?"
"I'd love it to be honest," he smirked, making me roll my eyes.
"Jude."
He laughed, stripping down to his boxers before jumping in bed, having showered at the stadium.

I wiped my makeup off tiredly, shoes eventually coming off after that. I searched my drawers for something to sleep in but most of my stuff was in the wash with Bukayo's.
"Have you got something I can wear?"

He opened his arms, "I'll keep you warm."
"Yes you will but I can't sleep in a bra and if someone comes in in the morning, we're both beyond dead. So, can I borrow a t-shirt pretty please?"
He laughed, getting up and digging through a pile of his clothes he had left in here, eventually chucking me a red and white adidas t-shirt that went down to my mid thigh.

I turned the lights off, jumping to get in bed quickly as it was pitch black and my biggest fear is something grabbing me.
"Chill," Jude laughed, wrapping his arms around me, "I've never seen you run so fast."
I ignored him, turning to face his chest, "I love you."
"I love you too darling."

"I started learning German."
"I guessed," he smiled, "Adding to the long list then?"
"Mhm."
"How come?"
"I wanted to move with you."
"Oh," he hesitated before continuing running his hands through my braids, "Why not anymore?"

"I think I depend on you too much. I used to only need myself and it was better that way."
His head shook, "Things aren't going back to how they used to be. Jayden isn't someone you'll speak to, you won't smoke unless you really really have to and I won't be disappointed because I understand but like I-"
"Things won't go back to how they used to be," I smiled at his concern, watching him physically relax at my words.

"I'm proud of you."
I tilted my head up at him although it was near impossible to see, "For what?"
"Being you. I'm glad we had this, us. Even if not for long."
"Yeah," I replied softly, chin on his chest, "I'm glad too."

He kissed my forehead before getting comfy again, arm wrapped around me tightly, "Goodnight Alli."
"Night Judas."

———

Campus was eerily quiet as everybody kept to themselves, the events of last night still sinking in.

"Hey Jay," I smiled, flopping onto the sofa beside the boy, "You okay?"
"I'm calm," he forced a smile, "Sleep alright?"
"You don't have to lie."
"I'm not."

I laughed slightly to myself, only really just understanding now why everybody said we were so similar.
"If you need anything, I'm always here."
He nodded, holding back a laugh, "Preciate it."
"Shut up," I rolled my eyes as he let out his laughter, whether at me actually being nice or just to change the subject I didn't know, but I had to hold back a coy smile too.

"Ayodele!" I could hear Bukayo call for me, making me groan slightly due to the comfy position I was in.
"In here!"
He entered a few seconds later, eyebrows furrowed and eyes clearly puffy.
I sat up almost immediately, "What's up?"
"Nothing just all a bit shit innit? Forget that though, have we got a plan? What's happening? 'Cause we've all probably gotta be out in a few days."

"Plan?" Jadon tilted his head at us, clearly confused.
I smiled, "Want a personal shopper by any chance?"
"Fuck yeah. That's what famous people have, right?"

Bukayo and I exchanged glances, unbeknownst to the excited football player.
"You realise you've been a part of the England squad and played for one of the biggest teams in the Bundesliga?" I asked as if it were obvious.
"Yeah but-"
"Right, sorted!" Kayo interrupted, "Dele will go out today and get you some stuff, not massive yet, and you tag her and the new garms on your story. Calmmm."

Sanch pulled a face, "Sounds calm but I don't think it's that simple."
"And today's my last day with Jude, I can't go out."
Bukayo rolled his eyes at my comment, making me swallow the words I wanted to throw at him for that.

"I'll get on it tomorrow, I have enough of my own money for a hotel for a bit anyway, don't worry about it," I kept my voice steady, being careful to not get too wound up. I often made situations bigger than they needed to be by reacting straight away.

"I don't want to stay in a hotel and I can't go back to mum's because I've been fucking looking after you. I wanna get a flat and we go halves on it."
I blinked a few times, looking over at Jadon to question whether I heard him right but he held up his hands in surrender.

"You've never mentioned this to me? I'm not gonna have a stable income for a while, how would you ever expect me to be able to go halves? And even if I could, one day wouldn't affect how long it would take to actually find a flat and move in."

"What were you expecting to happen?" he looked at me incredulously.
"You can't just-"
"Woah, what's the shouting for?" Jude came in, stretching before taking a seat beside his now former teammate.

"Her. Just expecting everyone to do every fucking thing for her-"
"Alright, finish this conversation when you've chilled out mate. Dele," he beckoned me to follow him as I watched my brother's eyes widen, "Ayodele."

I walked out with him, hearing Jadon's laughter behind us. He placed an arm over my shoulder as we walked aimlessly down the corridor, "Are you okay?"
"I'm calm," I nodded.
He ignored my response that he would usually get annoyed at, "He shouldn't speak to you like that."
"Whole family needs anger management to be honest," I said shrugging as he held back a laugh before agreeing, "Shut up."

We reached the stair case, myself taking a seat on one next to the wall to lean on and Jude sitting himself beside me, arms draped over his knees.
"How long do you reckon until it's all good for you guys to carry on whatever that conversation was meant to be?"
"Ten years?"
He laughed at that, pulling me into him.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, my head on his shoulder as I constantly thought about how much everything was about to change in the next twenty four hours, how we'd be no more than friends and the rest of the boys would split off and do their own things.

"I know it's selfish but I really don't want you to leave," I admitted, voice cracking without my permission.
He held me tighter, his own expression sharing the melancholy of mine, "I don't wanna leave either darlin but I have to."
"I know."

"I'll come back and visit when I can."
I bit my lip, debating whether to voice my opinion on that. I knew it'd hurt seeing him after all the time we'd spend apart and if anything I'd rather he didn't or I'd never move on.

I decided not to, muttering a simple 'yeah' before finally getting up, "Better sort this shit with Kayo then."
He nodded, getting up slowly after me but about to head in the other direction, "Just keep calm and let it be a conversation only. There's no need for arguments."
"I know," I sighed, no energy to get defensive and blame it on him as my mind was barely in the right space, only thinking of how all of this was about to end.

He turned to head back up the staircase, "I love you."
My eyes were welling with water despite how many times I told myself to stop being pathetic and so was only able to muster a quick nod in reply but he left before I'd have been able to answer anyway.

It was all going to end.