twd imagines✨

hallucinating❤️‍🩹

word count:897
carl looses the love of his life and starts hallucinating just like rick
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carls pov:
i walked down the streets of alexandria. i stoped at the gate. should i go out? no. thats how i lost them. outside the walls was where the love of my life got bit and i had to watch them die in my arms. but maybe, if i went out, i'd have the chance of the same fate and possibly see them again.

i didn't believe in a life after death. well before y/n died i didn't. i guess loosing someone you loved more than yourself it all changed your viewpoint about it. just so that you could have a reason to believe that you would see them again.

i was pulled out of my thought when michonne called down from the guard tower 'carl. i need to help your dad with some stuff would you mind taking over for a minute?'

'umm...sure.' i hesitated as i still was coming back to reality.

i climbed up before she made her way down, running off. there was a shotgun on the floor which i picked up.

my eyes scanned around, looking for something to shoot. i wasn't upset over it for now, i was just angry. the 5 stages of grief were real. i had gone through the denial for the past month, and for the last week, i was just angry. mainly at myself for letting y/n die on my watch but i had been taking my anger out on everyone and everything around me.

that's when i saw them. they stood a few feet away from the tree we carved our initials and the words 'i love you forever' in all white. their hair swayed slightly in the wind and they smiled up to me.

i stood in shock as i called out their name but i got no response. i was going crazy. i put the bullet in their head myself. there was no way they were still alive.

i backed away, jumping forward when i hit the fence and nearly fell off, making the unstable platform wobble. tears welled in my eyes as i just stood there, staring at them.

i felt a hand rest on my shoulder. 'carl?' i jumped at michonnes voice, blinking back the tears that didn't get the chance to spill. she looked out 'you're seeing y/n aren't you? your dad was the same when your mom died. go get some rest, your minds playing tricks on you.'

i dropped the gun, climbing down the ladder and running to my house. my dad was in there 'can i talk to you?' i asked as he picked up judith, putting her on his lap.

i sat down beside him 'do you still see mom?' i blurted out.

he shook his head 'not anymore. why?' i didn't say anything, only staring at my hands. but he caught on. 'carl, if you've seen y/n there's not anything you can do about it. i stopped when we left the prison, but there's not much you can do about that. you might just have to wait till you're in the acceptance stage. even then, you might see them for the rest of your life.'

'do you think it's because you left where she died that you stopped seeing her?' i asked 'no offence to you but you went a bit crazy, i just don't want to go that way.'

'possibly.' he answered 'i know i wasn't in the best mindset, but you won't end up like i did. i promise.'

then i got an idea. 'if leaving the prison is when you stopped seeing mom, what if i went to the hilltop?' i suggested 'maggie's there. enid's there. i have people i know there and it might help me.'

he sighed, thinking about my suggestion 'if you think it could help it's worth a shot. only if you want to stop seeing them.' i looked at him confused 'if you go and you stop hallucinating that y/n's there you might start to miss them more than you can imagine.  and then you won't see them again until you die, and that's only if there's an afterlife.'

i nodded 'i need to try. they would've wanted me to move on and i can't do that if i keep seeing them everywhere.'

'okay.' he agreed 'i can take you tonight. but i'll cone to check on you in a month and if it doesn't help, i want you to come back here.'

'sure.' i agreed.

-time skip-

i was on a run with jesus. we were in a department store looking for clothes when we got surrounded. 'run!' i shouted so he did.

i felt the rotted teeth sink into my skin as i winced in pain. a had grabbed mine to drag be out of the heard.

i collapsed as they moved away, looking back to whoever pulled me out. i looked up to them 'y/n?'

'hey carl.' they sadly laughed. 'i'm glad you're here. well, i'm sad you didn't make it, but i'm so happy i can talk to you again. until now i was just observing from a distance. a few months ago, you stared straight at me when i was by our tree.'

'so you were really there?' i stood up.

they nodded 'yeah.' they kissed me and whispered 'i love you so much.'

~~~
i can't decide if this one is sad or happy but either way i personally enjoyed it
as always let me know what you think🫶