Sophie managed several hours of sleep before Emma awoke ready to be fed. While she fed Emma, Keefe got dressed and ready for the day. Then, he enthusiastically took Emma into his arms, grinning at her as she stared up at him, wide awake.
"Hi, Daddy," her soft little voice sang out.
"Hey baby girl," he crooned. "Do you have any idea how much Daddy loves you?"
Keefe continued talking to her as he headed downstairs. Sophie rushed through a quick shower and threw on a simple tunic and leggings before padding barefoot downstairs.
Emma was still awake, but getting sleepy.
"Mama," Emma mumbled with a yawn. "Mama." Sophie leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"I know I could put her down," Keefe said quietly as Sophie sat down next to him with some breakfast in her hands. "But I don't want to. I tried putting her down earlier but then I started to miss her so I just picked her up again."
Emma had fallen asleep snuggled up against Keefe's chest, his hand holding her steady. He kept ducking his face down and kissing the top of her head. He didn't even seem to realize he was doing it.
It was just instinctive.
And something she assumed neither of his parents had ever done for him in his entire childhood.
And also something that definitely gave her all the swoony feels for him.
"I guess I'll hail my dad?" Keefe asked Sophie uncertainly.
"We said we would," she agreed.
"Yeah...it's just weird to willingly be around him when I don't have to be." But Keefe grabbed his Imparter and invited Cassius to visit whenever he was ready.
It was the first time they'd invited him to Aeternum.
He joined them in their large living room and seemed at a loss for words as he watched the tender way Keefe cradled Emma in his arms.
After a few minutes, during which Cassius congratulated them again on the arrival of their first child, Keefe tentatively asked his father if he'd like to hold her.
Cassius' eyes—which had been fixed on that little sleeping baby—darted up to Keefe's face as though he were surprised at the offer.
"I would love to," Cassius told him.
It was the most sincere Sophie had ever heard him be.
Keefe hesitated for the briefest of seconds before kissing Emma's forehead again and slowly placing her into his father's arms.
Watching Cassius hold his granddaughter was...
...surprisingly emotional.
Mostly because Cassius was surprisingly emotional.
He looked remarkably like his son as he stared down at her. She stirred awake as she was being handed over, and her sleepy eyes looked up at Cassius.
"Hello," she said in a sleepy voice.
"Hello, little one," Cassius said in a quiet voice. He continued to stare at her as she fell asleep again. When he finally looked up, his expression was warmer and softer than Sophie had ever seen.
Sophie stole a quick glance at Keefe.
He looked very conflicted, but when he saw that she was watching him, he offered her a small smile.
As the morning wore on, their friends began to check in. No one wanted to overwhelm the new parents, so they decided to spread out their visits over the next week instead of bombarding them all at once.
Cassius stayed all morning and even helped them feed Emma when she awoke. He told her that he was her grandpa, smiling down at her. "Sleepy, grandpa," she said after a while, yawning and closing her eyes.
Cassius decided to take his leave. He reluctantly handed Emma back to Keefe, smiled at both of them and let himself out.
"Okay, I miss my baby," Sophie said softly.
Keefe immediately handed her over. "I would've let my dad hand her to you, but I really wanted to sneak a reading of his emotions."
Sophie was afraid she was stepping into a minefield by asking, "what did his emotions tell you?"
"It was...complicated. There was a warmth there that I've never felt him have before. Like something about Emma unlocked his ability to feel a positive emotion. It felt like affection. He...loves her. And I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that." Keefe's expression clouded.
Sophie reached for his hand. It had to be hard for Keefe, trying to trust his dad with anything. Not to mention the reminders of Keefe's own childhood. And sure enough...
"On the one hand," Keefe said, "that little girl is everything and she should be instantly loved by everyone that meets her. And if he hadn't, I don't think I ever could have stood to be around him again. But on the other hand..." He sighed and dragged a hand down his face. "Would it have been that hard? Would it really have been that hard to have loved me too? It would've been nice to have had one good parent. And frankly if he'd been a kinder person we probably would've realized much sooner who my mom really was."
"I doubt that," Sophie said. "Your mom was a master of manipulation and of secrecy. She'd have found a way. But as to the rest...I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say."
Keefe looked angry and hurt and confused, but the worst for Sophie to bear was seeing how resigned he looked. Like he just accepted his father's lack of care for him no matter how painful the memories were.
So Sophie got up to go lay Emma down in her crib. She wanted to hold her baby, but she knew her husband needed her more—and she wanted to do anything she could to help ease his pain.
So she came back to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. He sank into her embrace, tears in his eyes but not spilling over.
"I'm sorry to bring us down," he whispered into her hair. "We were having a nice morning. And we should be happy right now. I am happy," he corrected, leaning back to look Sophie in the eye. "Honestly I've never been more happy in my life," he whispered, bringing one hand up to stroke her cheek. "Trust me, ever since you first told me how you felt about me, I've been happier than I ever would have imagined could be possible. But seeing him with Emma today, it just brought it all back. He had more warmth and tenderness in that hour he held her than he has ever had for me."
"You don't have to apologize," Sophie told him quietly. "Never apologize for grieving." She pulled his face down towards hers and kissed him softly, tenderly. "I once told him that he had been a worthless father. And he was. The pain you feel now is just more fallout from him being completely worthless your entire childhood. And a complete idiot. He had this incredible son—someone brilliant, and gifted, and funny, and kind, and strong—but instead he wanted some snobby little version of himself so he tried as hard as he could to crush your spirit. And frankly...your mom probably egged him on in that. Partly so he would paint himself as the villain and make her look like the better parent, and partly because a hurting, vulnerable person would be easier for her to manipulate. She probably figured it'd make it easier to convince you to follow her awful plans. But instead...you defied them both, again and again." Sophie smiled. The more she thought about it, the more amazing it was. The more amazing Keefe was. "You are an incredible person. And I think your dad is finally starting to see it."
Keefe closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as though he were willing himself to really believe everything Sophie had just told him. And he must have, because he opened his eyes with a small smile and whispered "I love you so much."
"I love you too." Sophie leaned up to kiss him, but at that moment Keefe's Imparter lit up.
He turned to look at it. "No one is hailing me, it looks like a message. And it's from my dad."
YOU ARE READING
KOTLC After Stellarlune-A Sokeefe Story
Fanfiction"Keefe. Even if I hadn't been unmatchable, even if Fitz and I had been on each other's match lists, I need you to know that eventually, it still would have been you." -Excerpt from "Triumphant" All she knew was that this time, she and Keefe were s...
