You are save with me

Chapter 5

Tw: Panikattack, mentions of rape, emetophobia,

Carina felt something move. She had just fallen asleep. Her sore body finally relaxing, when she got woken, but sobs and ragged breathing. She turned and opened her eyes. Maya was sitting and crying. She was breathing rapidly and anger and sadness was written across her face. Carina wrapped her arms around her. "Hey. Hey. Bambina. Whats wrong?" But Maya couldn't speak. "Breathe. Come one. In and out. Maya Bambina. In and out." Carina overexaggerated her breathing and held Mayas face in her hands. Maya calmed down. "I hate him so much." She gasped out through sobs. "Who?" "My father. He... He.. hurt me.. he was... But he.. is my... f...father." "I know, Bella. I know." After a while Maya had calmed down. In a quiet voice she spoke. "The first time i refused to go train, i had a sore throat and i didn't feel well, he made me run in the snow, without shoes and in PJs until i broke down. Someone called an ambulance. I was treated at the hospital and when my father came he blamed it on me. He told the hospital staff i was developmentaly delayed and liked to elope. I was severely hypothermic, had pneumonia and Tonsillitis. He pretended to be the worried father only to force me to run again when i came home a week later." "Oh, Bambina." Carinas heart broke for the small blonde. She imagined what a 10 or 11 year old Maya must have felt. "I don't want to call him my dad anymore. He never was a father to me. I'll call him Lane. Thats his firstname." "Thats okay, Bella. Whatever helps you." They rested for a little while. Maya laying on Carinas chest and Carina drawing patterns on Mayas back. "Close your eyes, Bella." Carina said as she saw Maya was fighting sleep. "Sleep." Carina kissed Mayas forhead and the both fell asleep.

After a few days they were both better and went back to work.

Two weeks later Maya had a meeting with Chief Dixon. She was anxious about it. Not because she was scared of  Dixon but because didn't like how he treated her. He knocked on the door. "Come in." Maya yelled. Dixon came in and closed the door. "Leave the door open." Maya said. It was something that made her more comfortable. Wherever she went, she made sure that at least one door was open at all times. "I don't like that. I don't want any of the delicate information to reach the outsides." "Nobody is going to hear us. My entire team has work to do." "Still this is very private information about the SFD and we wouldn't want anyone to evesdrop." Dixon replied snarkily. Maya noded. "Sit down. I have a few forms to get out of my shelves." Dixon sat down and they started their meeting.

With every minute Maya grew more anxious. She kept looking at the door. She had a hard time concentrating and decided to take a break. "Would you like some coffee?" She asked Dixon. "Yes that would be nice." Dixon said and Maya stood up. "I will have to go up stairs real quick, my machine is broken. You can read through these budget reports, while i'm gone." Dixon nodded and Maya left her office.

She took a deep breath and went up the stairs. In the beanery she went looking for the coffee and started the machine. While it was cooking, she rested her head in her hands. Travis came in and frowned. "What's wrong, Mai?" He asked. "Dixon." Was Mayas answer. That was enough for Travis to understand. "Oh I get it. He is being a dick." "Mhm." Maya sighed. "I needed a break, so i offered to make him coffee." Travis noticed how Mayas foot was tapping and how she kept scanning the room. She was very anxious. Travis didn't know about her history. Or at least not all of it. But he had noticed, how she was a lot more anxious around men. How she avoided being in a room alone with a man. Taking out the men of her team. But even with those, she had been skiddish in the beginning. Travis placed a hand to Mayas to stop her from picking at her fingers. "It'll be over soon. Or there will be an alarm." Maya nodded. She took the coffee and went back down stairs.

It took them 3 hours to complete their meeting. Mayas fingers had started bleeding, from her picking at them. "Goodbye Chief Dixon." Maya said as he stood up. "Bye Bishop." Maya noticed how he didn't use her title. But she didn't care. She just wanted him to leave.

When had left, she ran into the bathroom and threw up violently. All the anxiety had made her very sick and so she emptied all the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She sat down next to it, after she was done and breathed heavily. A flashback hit her.

Lane had yelled for her to get dressed. He had told her to wear  nice clothes and to shave. She had just turned eighteen and didn't know what Lane had in plan. He drove them to a big building. "Get out, go to the fifth floor. Ring and say you have an appointment. This guy is very rich. He is willing to sponsor you." Being a professional athlete was expensive. Lane had been in the military and got a small pay, after he injured out. Mayas mother worked as a teacher. They couldn't afford her career. "Make sure you do everything he says and satisfy him. If he declines, it will be worse. Trust me." Had she been naive? Obviously the guy didn't want to hear about her trainingplans or whatever she had won so far. He only wanted one thing. So he took it. Maya remembered being sore more than a week after. That wasn't the only time her father made that kind of appointments for her. And the worst part was, at that time Maya thought she wanted it, Or more she was scared of Lanes consequences, if she refused.

An: better late than never. I'm sorry. I forgot to update, because i'm currently writing  a oneshot on the "Home is wherever i'm with you." Story. I know this is a very heavy chapter. It will get better. I promise