𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | hotchniss

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

1998
Aaron, Hotch, 33
Working at the BAU

They were unpacking, sorting out their stuff what should stay and what shouldn't, imagining what their future house will look like, Haley moved in long time ago but when Aaron proposed and she said yes they both decided they should move to a bigger house because they both wanted a family at some point and the believed a bigger house is the best start, later they found the perfect place, their home.

"I think we could use a break Hotch" Haley said her hands on her hips Aaron laughed

"since when did you started calling me Hotch?" He said amused getting closer to her "Didn't you said that I'm only Hotch when I'm at work?" He raised his eyebrows she smiled putting her hands over his shoulders "well I did but I really wanted to see your reaction" she said pulling him closer his hands on her hips

"was it what you expected?" He asked kissing her softly "not really but I don't care" she answered into their kiss, then she stopped her eyes opened with a question

"where did that nickname came from anyway?" she asked she didn't noticed how Aaron pulled away he was trying so hard to forget about her but she kept popping up in his life even though she was out of it.

he started to think that even the sharpest knife won't be able to cut that annoying string that attached her to him.

‏It was too late now he couldn't resist, he already took an unwanted trip down the memory lane he asked her to dance that night and she agreed that was the first time he was ever called Hotch she said it fits him he didn't really get it at first but now he embraced it, after all she was right, it does rolls on the tongue, that made him smile

"What's so funny?" Haley said looking at him curiously Aaron just smiled at her stroking her hair "nothing" he answered "the nickname is from an old friend it just got stuck I guess" he said, lying

When Aaron joined the BAU he met David Rossi
Aaron liked him a lot, they became close pretty quickly and became good friends before dave retired

"you already know my name is Dave" Dave said to Aaron it was a hard case and they decided to go to a bar they needed that drink "no one calls me David and I won't be calling you hotchner either it sounds like an old dentist's name" that made Aaron laugh

"you can call me by my name you know" Dave shook his head "maybe but you can't be Aaron to everybody" he said rolling his eyes Aaron didn't know what made him tell Dave out of all people that piece of information about her but he did

"I've been called Hotch once" Dave looked at him Aaron's head was down he played with his drink smiling weakly

"Hotch, I like it, it doesn't sound like you're a 60 years old man, it rolls on the tongue" Aaron couldn't hold back his laughter
"believe it or not she said the same thing" it took him a minute to understand what he just said

"I guess that she is Haley?" Dave asked Aaron knew he has a way out of this he doesn't have to tell him about Emily but he found himself wanting to, no one knew about her and he thought that maybe if another person knew he won't feel like he imagined his time with her, he'll be certain she was real and they were happy back then Aaron also felt that way about keeping his pirate's hat the one Emily gave him when they were kids he couldn't let it go, back then he was so mad at himself for not being able to get rid of it but now he understood why.

Even though they were done and he haven't heard anything from her for years he liked the idea of having parts of her with him, even if they were small, being called "Hotch" like the pirate's hat reminded him the happy moments in dark times with her, he needed that reminded to try and move forward.

"not really" Aaron said quietly almost ashamed "how come?" Dave asked

Aaron didn't felt bad about talking about her, he felt relieved like if she existed in another person's consciousness she could maybe fully leave his.

"My-" he took a breath rubbing his neck "my ex used to call me that I hated that but got used to it eventually" he felt weird calling her an ex she was more then that but he didn't feel like giving Dave her name Aaron felt like this was too personal he wanted this part to stay only with him Dave saw how uncomfortable he got and he knew not to push it so he just nodded

Aaron was done with his memories trip when Haley cut off his thoughts "Okay it's getting pretty late we need to either take a break and finish the rest tomorrow or do it all now" his fiancée didn't dwell on the 'friend' subject and he was glad "Let's just finish it we will have plenty of time to rest" he said smiling at her.

Aaron was still sometimes full of anger about how Emily and him ended but he was also happy that they happened he used to think that if he'll make her the villain in their story he'll be able to move on but it was only when he realised that both of those feelings can coexist that he was able to really move forward, he was happy with her but now he's happy with Haley, he accepted that and he also hoped she did too.
he was happy because of her and now he's happy after her and he wanted her to find that happiness as well even if it's not with him.