𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | hotchniss

Is it enough?

Thank you for 8k reads! | I'm reminding you that I have another hotchniss story! Titled "mistakes like this" I'll update a new chapter there too so check it out or read the summary if interested ♥
Episode:
5x08 | "outfoxed"
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Emily didn't find it hard, having to play her again. But she always had a hard time even trying to push Lauren back into the recesses of her mind that she used to be locked in.

She flattered Karl, flirted with him. She remained unfazed when he leaned closer or attempted to intimidate her and pull her into his twisted fantasy. she was her; once again.
And that truth frightened her, especially because she didn't feel that frightened while embodying the role. It came naturally to her. It was easy effortless.

And she felt self-assured, confident and content particularly when she witnessed the expression on Karl's face when she revealed her insights into his childhood, she was Lauren she was always in control despite appearing oblivious and dependent. Emily felt guilty for missing that sensation, of being one step ahead. and the ability to shut someone down like she did to him.

It was always fun being her, it was easy flirting with Karl giving him those photos of Lucy, Lauren simply didn't care about the things Emily would struggle with or refuse to do. Letting go of that was the difficult part. Realizing she had to do it again scared her because she knew she would have to confront her emotions—feeling dirty, used, and powerless.

Listening to Aaron attempts to console her didn't make her feel any better, Saying it was her job didn't fix how she felt, it didn't help when she told that to herself during her mission and it certainly didn't help her now when he repeated the same words she used to say to herself; if anything, it exacerbated her emotions. It was a familiar excuse one that didn't hold the same effect on her anymore.

And then Karl called them, and as he unveiled what he hid from them she once again was reminded of the false nature of her control. It was an illusion, a game, orchestrated by him and Foyet. Perhaps she had managed to surprise Karl by profiling him and she might've caught him off guard by mentioning his father, but ultimately, he had the last laugh.

Foyet was back.

Aaron stormed out of the room and she did the same. She then realized how trivial her feelings were, how insignificant they were in comparison to the possibility of Aaron losing his family.

For a brief moment, her fear for Haley and Jack provided a respite from confronting her own emotions; a distraction. And as she was hurriedly following Aaron out of the prison and silently climbing to the car seat, she felt a fleeting sense of relief.

And as this day progresses, she will despise herself for that momentary ease, and for agreeing to separate from him at the precinct.

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This one is really short but I'm updating another chapter rn! I apologize | if any of y'all on TikTok check me out! I'm editing criminal minds!  enthusemily