The Bad Boy's Baby

Chapter 9: Can't Handle

Sorry for the delay!

*******

Cass was breaking through my mental wall and convincing me of something I thought I was never going to consider.

Giving up.

Seriously, it was hard. The way I was now scared me a little. Sometimes I was strong, knowing what I was doing and other times I was a weeping mess, hopeless and bleak. Two and a half months had gone by. Every other day Cass' arguments felt the right thing to do. I'd tried to counter argue with a 'I don't want to leave an ugly scar for my future lover on my tummy if I go for abortion' argument but Cass had also done some research of her own, the sneaky girl, telling me all about the non- surgical type of abortion, through a vacuum. It sounded great but it had one catch- it could only work the first three months. After that the fetus became more solid and had to be removed through surgical methods. This was why she pressed me so much to make a decision, because I didn't have a lot of time for deciding- a little over a week maybe.

Finally the next week, I had the worst bout of morning sickness ever, and then I decided, I'm giving it up. It was going against my principles but I couldn't do this- who was I kidding? After I made this decision I spent hours crying because I honestly didn't want to do this, but the way I was feeling, I'd be lucky to pass 12th grade. OK, maybe not that bad, but it certainly felt like it.

Mom dropped hints that morning sickness would stop after the first trimester, only to spring in occasionally. But I didn't pay attention so I didn't get those hints. Damn.

When I told Cass she screamed with joy. She'd been on an anti baby mission since day one and it seemed that she had triumphed; that made me mad as hell and I didn't talk to her the rest of the day. But Cass didn't care. She rang up the clinic and asked the whole procedure and things, booked an appointment, then planned an after party. I could care less. It was beyond silly. Here I felt absolute misery about giving up a life and here she was planning after party shots.

She told my parents, and my dad was happy of course, but I could tell my mom wasn't, even though she was doing her best to fake it. I didn't get it. At first she'd told me not to go with my original plan and now she wanted me to keep the baby? I would never know. Whatever it may be, the prospect of getting back to a somewhat normal teen life cheered me just a little bit so I wasn't too down during the dinner Dad cooked up. Huh, must be really happy.

There was only one thought I couldn't get out of my mind- would Colton really care?

If I told him point blank, what would he really do? Laugh? Jeer? Maybe congratulate me. Maybe breathe in relief as the prospect of being an unwanted dad was removed from over his head. 

I had no idea just how wrong I was going to be.

******

Looking back, I'd love to blame Cass for all of this. If she'd kept her trap shut maybe all of this upcoming drama wouldn't have happened.

In school it was a normal day, as normal as the catcalls and jokes could be but nobody said much about my baby- they all still remembered the Eliza incident and stayed away from me. Besides me Cass was a bouncing ball of energy. Sigh. The only human excited about loss of human life. Well, besides Hitler.