nsb oneshots!!!!

only you (sebryan)

[this is a part two to ❝smoking cigarettes on the roof❞]
t/w: slight mention of smoking.

It was now morning. Ryan was in his room, streaming on twitch. Sebastian was downstairs, cooking. None of them were really showing the effects of last night, they had become far too used to that. But Ryan kept on thinking about what Sebastian had asked him. He was thinking about it so much that he forgot he was on stream. He zoned out for almost 5 minutes until a donation came through with a message "Ryan, earth calling. Stop daydreaming about Sebastian" He was startled but he chuckled. "I'm not daydreaming about him." The chat immediately exploded with "yes you are" or "you were blushing" Ryan was shaking his head. "Stop it guysss" He covered his face in his hands. He looked at the chat and saw Sebastian's name. "You dream about me at night and now you're dreaming about me in day time? Wow, Ryan. You really are obsessed" Ryan blinked multiple times and facepalmed. "I don't dream about you Seb. Stop the cap" He knew that everyone will just be talking about this so he just simply ended his stream. He set down his headset and leant back in his chair, closing his eyes.

Ryan hadn't realized but he had almost spent an hour, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. He got up from his chair and grabbed his phone. And there it was. Everywhere it was just clips of his stream. He was tagged in everything. He switched his phone off and set it on the table. Sebastian came in a few minutes later. "Seen the damage?" Ryan frowned at Sebastian, confused. "Did you check Twitter?" "Oh" was the only thing Ryan said. "I did but I don't care," But he did care. He cared a little too much. Sebastian sat on his chair and fiddled with his hoodie strings. "You can deny it all you want. But I know you liked it," Sebastian says, looking right at Ryan. Ryan just rolled his eyes and left the room.

He found himself on the rooftop, again. An unlit cigarette between his lips, about to be lit. He sets down his lighter and he inhales. His hands were oddly shaky. He ignored it and tried to steady his fingers so that his cigarette doesn't fall. He was reaching for his second one when the door practically flew open. He looked at the door for a second before turning away. Oliver was making his way towards him. Oliver leant against the railing and looked around. "Damn. Now I know why y'all stay here so much. It's beautiful up here." "It is. It calms me down." "The view and that thing." Oliver says pointing at Ryan's cigarette. Ryan chuckled and handed one to Oliver. "I know you occasionally do it too. You can't lie to me." Oliver laughs and shakes his head, taking it from Ryan. "Why're you up here suddenly?" "Sebastian seemed off. I thought it had something to do with you." "It's nothing really. I'm sure you saw the clips on twitter." "I did. But you seemed like you liked what Sebastian commented." "Well that's the thing. I don't know if I did like it. I mean I don't necessarily dream about him. And the whole dreaming thing is a metaphor about liking him. Which, I also don't know if I do." "That's a bit strange. You seem like you really do like him." "I do? Am I that transparent?" "Not really. I'm just really good at reading people." Ryan chuckles and puts out his cigarette, dropping it in the ashtray. Oliver does the same. He pulls out his phone as he received a text. "Sebastian asked if you're still mad at him. What does he mean by 'still'? Were you mad at him before?" Ryan frowned. "No I wasn-" He face palmed mid sentence. "I wasn't mad at him but I did roll my eyes before slamming the door shut." "You're such an idiot." Oliver shakes his head in annoyance.

Ryan was now sitting beside Sebastian, trying to explain everything to him. "Listen. It's got nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I do like you. I do in fact love you. I miss you when I'm not with you. I think about you all the time when you're not with me. I daydream about you. I can't get you out of my head. But I didn't know what to do with these feelings. I didn't know if I should've just told you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I want only you. You and you only. I hated the fact I couldn't have you when you were right here. All those times when you snuggled into me, I just wanted to kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me. But I'm scared. I'm too unstable, mentally. I have issues and you know it too. Commitment issues, trust issues, abandonment issues. And whatnot. I want to love you. I want to date you. I want you in my future. But I'm scared I might hurt you. I'm scared I might get hurt myself. But I really do love you, Seb. I do." Ryan was on the verge of tears when he finished. Sebastian was already crying. He didn't say anything and just threw his arms around Ryan. Ryan hugged him back, breaking down into tears.
"I want only you too. You and you only."

thank you for reading!!
i wanted this one to make more sense but i don't know if it does. writing stuff like this helps me cope with my own issues. the next two stories, will be really personal. it'll be exactly, word for word, what i went through. the first one, being my most recent heartbreak and the second one, being my own issues. i'm giving spoilers now so that you can brace yourself. i'm also giving spoilers so that i can give myself all the time i need to make those two stories two of the best ones. i hope you like this one and the ones i publish in the future<3