nsb oneshots!!!!

heartbreaker ii

Oliver knew he had to be there for Regie. So, they both started hanging out everyday. Oliver fit his schedule around Regie's. Whenever he called, Oliver would be there. Just like now, Oliver was in a class, but Regie called. So he casually went out of the class, sprinting out of the school. Regie was waiting for him at the park. He was sitting on a bench, swinging his legs back and forth. He stood up when he saw Oliver approaching. "Hey. I'm sorry. I knew you were in class." "It's fine. Did you need anything?" "Not really. I just needed to talk to someone." "Alright. I'll listen." Oliver sat down on the bench and so did Regie. After listening to Regie rant, Regie said something unexpected. "Can...can I kiss you?" Oliver was fully taken aback. "I thought-I thought you didn't uh like me. I'm so conf-" Oliver's ramble was cut off by Regie pressing his lips against Oliver's. Oliver smiled and kissed back. When he pulled away, both of them looked at each other and blushed. Regie wrapped his arms around Oliver. "I love hugging you so much. I love being with you. I love you." Oliver smiled and hugged back tighter. "Can we uh. Can we keep this a secret?" Regie asked. "Sure."

When Oliver went home, he opened his texts, surprised to find none from Regie. The kiss was still replaying in his head. He smiled at the thought and texted Regie. "Thank you for today. I loved it." He set his phone down and freshened up for going to bed.

When he woke up the next morning, he still had zero texts from Regie. He frowned and texted Regie again. "Good morning." and followed it up with, "You really are a good kisser." A few minutes later, his screen lit up with Regie's reply. "What?" followed up with "Let's not talk about that." Oliver deleted the text he sent and replied with "Okay." Oliver was hurt at Regie's reply but nonetheless, happy that it had happened.

A few days went by with no texts from Regie. Oliver was worried but seeing Regie's insta stories was comforting to him. He hadn't told anyone about the kiss. Not even Sebastian. Regie's ignoring was really bothering him. So he texted again. "So. You've chosen to ignore me?" which Regie replied with. "No. I'm just busy." Wow. Wow. Damn. Oliver wiped the tear that just escaped his eye and leaned his head against the headboard.

Weeks. Weeks went by without any texts. Oliver, was hurt. He was really hurt. He hated feeling like this. He was sad and miserable. He has skipped school for a week straight. He was a mess. His heart was really broken.

Loving someone, doesn't always end well. Loving someone, isn't always beautiful. Sometimes, like now, you get your heartbroken. You get your heartbroken by someone that you aren't even together with. You love them for so long, hoping they'll love you back. But in the end, it ends with a massive heartbreak. That's what happened to me. I loved him. I loved him for seven long months and I still do. I loved him and he was aware of it. He knew how much I cared about him. He knew how much I thought about him. He knew how much I loved him. And he used to do these sweet little things for me. Making sure I'm okay. Hugging me when I needed it. He had a girlfriend and it felt so wrong to feel this way about him. But I couldn't help it. I had already fallen in love with him. After they broke up, I felt relieved. I knew I shouldn't have. I should've felt bad for him. I did, but I was happy for myself. Knowing I finally had an opportunity. And then we kissed. And then he started ignoring. Those words that I wrote about Regie saying "I love hugging you" he told me those exact words. He texted me those exact things. But I can't stop loving him. It's already hard for me to feel something about someone. Let alone fall in love. I'm still a wreck. I still love him so so much. I still want to give him what he deserves. I still care about him so so much. I don't know how to stop. I love him, I really do. It's so hard to stop loving someone when you're so used to loving them. It's so hard to stop thinking about him. That's the thing about falling in love. It can be so beautiful when it goes right. But when it goes wrong, it breaks you. Ruins you. For someone, that had already been dealing with depression, this broke me even more. I have s3lf h4rm issues and this made it worse. Because, he was the only one that made it hurt less. He was the one that made me stay clean for 3 months. And now, we're back to square one. Love, right now, isn't worth it to me. Love is stupid. Love is disastrous. Love is ugly. Love isn't worth all the pain I'm going through right now. Love isn't worth it in the end.

thank you so much for reading.
sorry for the rant. but i can't really talk about this to anyone. so, because i'm anonymous here, i decided to ramble. thank you again for reading.